Page 7 of I Blame the Alcohol

“Real talk: Do we want to give Wes an immediate erection or just enough of a tease that he will carry you off to bed and worship you for hours later?”

Lou props herself up with one of my pillows, the red velvet comforter shifting smoothly beneath her.

“Should I be concerned about the use of “we” in this scenario?”

I wave off her comment over my shoulder, not bothering to turn my attention from my open closet.

“I am simply an invested third-party observer, think of me as your fairy godmother who helps you get laid. I do the prep work, Wes does the real work, and you reap the benefits.”

Biting on her lip to keep from laughing, Lou tugs on her Blink-182 t-shirt, “Not going to lie, this normally does the trick.”

Pushing down the tinge of jealousy in my gut, I spin around and give her an indignant sniff, “You said I get to pick what you wear tonightanddo your hair. Now, answer the question please.”

“Fine.” Flopping back on the bed, Lou stares up at the miscoloured splotches on my ceiling. I don’t know where they came from, and frankly, I hope I never do. First-year dorms have a lot of things going for them, but cleanliness and spaciousness are not some of them.

“I mean, we don’t know how long this party is going to be, and I don’t want him to suffer… so the second one?” Choosing to ignore the uncertainty pinned to the end of that sentence, I resume my hunt until I find what I’m looking for.

“Aha!” Using my weight to force the rickety closet door wider, I reach for the back of my closet and pull out a cobalt blue, low-cut top I have been saving for an occasion such as this one.

Truth is, half the clothes in here are things I have picked up for my roommate and I just keep them safe until outings call for them to be revealed. Not that Lou knows that, of course, I let her think she’s borrowing something of mine, and always end up letting her keep it.

It sounds worse than it is. I like to think of it as investing in my roommate’s wellbeing. Everything I buy for Lou always looks amazing on her, but if I gave her everything at once, she’d be overwhelmed. Plus, Lou is blessed with modest curves and a slight frame that she keeps hidden under baggy clothes, so I consider it my responsibility to help show off the amazing figure Lou doesn’t even realize she has.

The only reason she hasn’t caught on to my scheme yet is because the poor girl doesn’t have a clue how sizing works.

“I’ve never worn a backless shirt before.” Holding up the shirt backwards, Lou peers at it like it’s a puzzle she can’t figure out.

Walking the two steps from my closet to my bed, I gently take the shirt from Lou’s hands and turn it around to explain the item’s function.

“My dear Lou, you aren’t ready for a backless top. That would mean no bra.” The look of horror on my non fashionista’s face has me patting her hand in reassurance.

“This is the front. It’s meant to show off those impressive boobs you have.”

“That’s thefront?” Disbelief oozes through her tone as I nod my head patiently.

“That’s right. Remember the movie we watched last night? Bend and snap? This is how to show off your snap without breaking Wes’ nose.”

I love my roommate dearly, but I wouldn’t put it past her to accidentally put her boyfriend in the emergency room. The pair of them met crashing into each other on move-in day, so pulling a Paulette fromLegally Blondereally isn’t that far of a stretch.

“The colour is going to look amazing with your eyes, especially once I add some sparkly powder and do your hair.” I clap my hands with finality, leaving no room for argument.

“Wes does love my eyes.” Murmuring the words almost unconsciously, Lou continues to analyze the piece of fabric taunting her on the bed. Satisfied my job is complete, I walk back to my closet and start rummaging for myself.

“What are you going to wear tonight?” The question pulls a smile to my lips as a memory flashes behind my eyes. Closing them for the briefest second, I step back into the past only for heartache to yank me back to present.

Sparks of pain shoot up my torso, scattering like fireworks along my ribs, and sending a prick of heat behind my eyes. The phantom pain isn’t anything new and neither is the wave of grief, but it still manages to throw me off-balance.

“Stella? Everything okay?”

Quickly clearing my throat, I blindly grab the first item in front of me.

“Right as rain. This is what I’m going to wear.” I can’t see Lou’s expression from the tears blurring my eyes, but I hear her sharp intake of breath.

“Are you sure you’re… oh my.” The silence that follows is long enough for me to compose myself and look at the item I randomly choose from my side of the closet.

Oh, dear God.

Pasting a smile to my face, I drape the item on the bed for Lou’s scrutiny. It was not at all what I had in mind for tonight, but I said I was going to wear it so that’s what I am going to do.

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