Page 37 of I Blame the Alcohol

“But like, what if her parents don’t like me?”

Wes pales, his characteristic confidence nowhere in sight, “Oh God. What if herdaddoesn’t like me?”

I hold back a laugh, clapping the rookie on the back.

“You’re overthinking this, man. Just be yourself.” I pause before adding, “But maybe don’t flirt with the mom this time.”

Wes groans, “I can’t help it. That woman is like fine wine.”

Walking by with a dissembled lacrosse net thrown over his shoulder, Nico snorts, “Please. You’re so whipped at this point the MILF won’t get a second thought.”

Hunter quips up from his position on the ground, “Wes finally found a girl to carry his balls around.”

“I’ll have you know,” Using one hand to grab his junk, Wes uses the other to flip Hunter the bird. “My balls are exactly where Trip likes them.”

“I can attest to that fact.” Nico holds up his hand and earns himself a high five from his best friend, the junk holder.

I call for attention with a clap of my hands, “That was a good last practice, team. I’ve got to run but I hope everyone has a good break. Make decently smart decisions!”

“Who said anything about being decent?”

Nico’s voice fades as I exit the gym, taking a quick detour to the locker room to grab my bag and change into some weather-appropriate clothes.

Now all that’s left to do is appease a furious 4’11 platinum blonde for a 13-hour car drive.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Stella’s long braid whips back and forth as her head swivels between her brother and me.

It’s safe to say I forgot to tell her about my new plans for the break.

“Ellsworth is joining us this year!” Mo cheerily shouts the words from inside the popped trunk, his wide frame all but disappearing into the back of the Cadillac with a large, bright pink suitcase.

“And you didn’t think to clear that with me?” Stella’s eyes flash angrily, her temper visibly rising behind the not-so-cool façade.

“Since when do you care if I bring friends home?”

Stella huffs, “When it happens to coincide withmybreak and the timeIget to spend with my brother, I think I’m allowed to have an opinion on the topic.”

Mo emerges from the trunk, his pressed pants and dress shirt completely crease-free from the action. His perfectly styled, light brown hair looks equally untouched.

Sometimes I wonder if he’s photoshopped.

“I thought you and Ellsworth were tight. You talk about him all the time.” Mo gestures towards my small duffel bag, “You want that in the back?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Sneaking a glance at Stella, I bite my cheek to keep from laughing at her pinkening face. At this point, I can’t tell if it’s from anger, embarrassment, or simply being in my presence.

“I don’t talk about him all the time.” She growls the words, climbs into the passenger seat, and slams the door shut.

Mo smirks, “She’ll get over it. You talk about her just as much.”

And there goes the smile from my face.

“Looks like you’ve got the back. It’s good to see you, man.” A charming smile and a hard back slap are all I get before Mo climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the engine.

Here goes nothing.

Taking one last breath of sanity, I open the door and clamber in behind Stella.

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