Page 75 of Fearless Bond

“Has he been mean to you?”

I could tell he was joking. I let out a nervous laugh. “Not at all. It’s about my anxiety. I didn’t want to make him worry.”

“He worries anyway.”

“I know he does. But I’m working on my independence. I have things I need to learn to do alone and not break down.”

“How can I help you, Calvin?”

I fiddled with the hem of my sweater. I barely knew why I was nervous talking about it with Hunter. He was a doctor. While he didn’t have a specialty in psychiatry or anything like that, he would understand. I didn’t have to be ashamed. Yet I still was—reason one hundred and one why I had to work on myself.

“I feel good now. Really great. But I was a complete mess before I met Barclay.”

The switch was subtle, but Hunter went into full professional mode. It was intimidating but reassuring too.

“Meeting your mate and bonding with him can have a transformative effect on your health,” he said. “Sadly, it isn’t a miracle cure.”

“Exactly. Barclay and I have done everything together during the past few weeks, but I don’t know how I’ll cope once I’m away from him. I want to work. Phil says that I can start at the daycare whenever I’m ready, and I’m excited about it but terrified too. What if I get anxious at work and mess up? And I want to be able to take care of the baby by myself when Barclay’s out and about. Hell, I want to go and visit Laurel in the city. Or go shopping alone. I should be able to do all those things.”

“Bonded mates rarely leave each other’s side, especially when the bond is fresh. And you had a rough start. It’s natural that you feel most secure when Barclay is near.”

“But with my history, there’s more to it. I’m scared that if I’m away from him, I’ll fall apart completely.”

Hunter nodded. “You’re afraid that you’ll be afraid.”

“I know! It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s common for people with anxiety to feel like that. Barclay isn’t here now. Are you afraid?”

I pointed at the window facing the main street. “He’s at Jordy’s. I just saw him walk in. And I feel safe with you.”

“Fair enough. Let’s go back to before you met Barclay. When did you start experiencing this kind of fear?”

“I don’t exactly remember. It snuck up on me after Laure moved away for college. I think I was seventeen.”

“Did you ever go to therapy?”

“No. Only one time, when I had a bad panic attack at school, I ended up talking to the nurse, and he booked counseling for me, but my father didn’t want me to go.”

“Why?”

“He said chitchat never solved anything or something along those lines. He told me my problem was that I was spoiled and should focus on my studies.”

“He’s a real charmer.”

“Yeah. He isn’t the most sensitive parent.”

“It’s plausible that his parenting could have negatively affected your overall mental health.”

I snorted at the way Hunter formulated the sentence. “My father contributed to me becoming a nervous wreck, yes.”

He gave me a sad smile. “What happened after high school?”

“He got a doctor to prescribe me medication that I was supposed to take when I was overstressed or afraid. I didn’t like taking it because it made me dizzy and tired while I could still feel all the fears churning inside me. But at least I could sleep.”

Hunter narrowed his eyes. “That doesn’t sound right. Did you bring the prescription with you?”

“I have it on my phone.”

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