Page 35 of Avenger of Sins

“Because if you can exorcise without a circle, I’m guessing you can summon without one.” Ryan met his eyes. “Put a demon in me, and I can get us out of here.”

TWELVE

“No,”John said, even before his mind had fully processed what Ryan was asking of him. “How could you even ask that?”

Ryan’s gaze remained steady. As if he’d come to a place of acceptance. “It’s the only way we can get out of this.”

John’s very soul recoiled. “I can’t. It’s against everything I believe in.”

“You can exorcise me after.”

“No.” He shook his head. “NHEs—our world isn’t meant for them. Our emotions, our physical feelings—they can’t handle it. It drives them mad. I can’t do this, to you or to some innocent entity from the other side of the veil.”

“Except for your vampires. They don’t seem mad.”

“Gray and Night had the cushion of being summoned into corpses. That’s not an option for any other NHE I’ve ever heard of—the others lack the strength to move the dead. They get memories, some sensation, but not enough to break them. And no single exorcist could bring a drakul through the veil.” John stopped and shook his head again. “You can’t go by them. If I did this…it would be just as bad as it was at the Center.”

“In a way,” Ryan agreed, and how could he be so damned calm about this? “I don’t want to do this, John. But no one iscoming to save us, so we have to save ourselves. Just like we did before.”

John rocked forward, face in his hands, fingers pressing against his eyelids. Caleb and Gray were in terrible danger, and Night might be as well, depending on whether she could actually be killed in a dead body, or just set free.

If Ryan had his telepathic powers boosted, he could reach out to the guards on the other side of the door. Force them to unlock it.

No. No, he couldn’t even contemplate this. Using his gift to drag some NHE screaming through the veil, shove it into anyone, let alone someone he knew…

“If I had the supplies, I’d do it myself,” Ryan said wryly. “Any idiot can summon a lycanthrope or a ghoul with a circle and the right intentions. Or wrong intentions, maybe. But unfortunately Harlow didn’t conveniently leave us with the materials to create a summoning circle.”

John wanted to lash out at Ryan. How dare he ask him to do something against everything he believed? Ryan’s actions had led to this situation, and now he wanted John to save them, no matter what it cost.

Just like they’d asked Ryan to save them, back at the Center. To erase their minds, because any chance at escape was worth trying.

“Were you afraid?” He dropped his hands and looked at Ryan. “At the Center, I mean. Were you scared you’d give us all brain damage, or…?”

Ryan nodded gently. “Terrified. You were my brothers and sisters in every way that mattered. I was scared to death I’d kill you, or turn you into a vegetable. And when I learned what had actually happened, that I’d overwritten your memories with my own, the guilt was overwhelming.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” John protested. He’d never considered what Ryan felt about what he had done, but it seemed so obvious now. “You tried to save us, and you did, even if not in the way we’d hoped.”

“I’m glad you see erasing your identity as being saved.”

“We were kids, being exploited by adults. They didn’t have to keep up the pretense after, but it served their purpose, so they did.” The words were ashes on his tongue; it was SPECTR who had done this. “You did save us, Ryan. Please, never doubt that.”

Ryan blinked, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, and Goddess, this must have eaten into him for all these years. No wonder he’d jumped on the chance to fix things, to bring back John’s memories, then Jo’s, even if it meant making them all targets. This wasn’t only about revenge, or justice. It was also about absolution.

John held out his hand, and Ryan took it, squeezing his fingers. “Thank you,” Ryan croaked, then cleared his throat. “We might not be kids any more, but here we are, back in the same place. With nothing but bad decisions in front of us.”

John closed his eyes. He didn’t want this, any of this.

But he had it anyway.

“After exposure to our world, some NHEs want to return,” he said. “Maybe because they no longer fit in either plane, or their fellows who remained in the etheric plane avoid their madness, leaving them alone and desperate for anything to fill the void. I don’t know exactly why; no one does except the corrupted NHEs themselves.”

“I took a couple of online classes, thinking I might get at least an associate’s degree,” Ryan said. “There’s a term in field biology—trap happy. Some animals will keep coming back to the same trap over and over again.”

“It makes as much sense as anything else.” John licked his lips, a part of him unable to believe he was about to do.“In a place like this, where I’m certain summoning has been happening on a regular basis, they’re probably clustering on their side of the veil. It won’t be hard to find NHEs who have already been fucked up by the mortal plane, but want to come back.”

“Give ’em what they want, then,” Ryan said with a quirk of his mouth that might have been a wry smile. “Will you do it?”

Caleb and Gray needed him. He couldn’t let them be imprisoned here by Harlow, experimented on for years to come. Couldn’t consign Gray with his visceral love of life, Caleb with his artist’s soul, to a featureless prison.

---