Page 23 of Avenger of Sins

“What are you thinking?” Caleb asked softly.

John rolled over to face him. “Who am I?”

Caleb’s brows quirked together. “I’m not sure what you’re asking me?”

“I’m not sure either,” John admitted. “I’ve spent half my life thinking I’m someone I’m not. I never had the chance to find out who I really am, I guess.”

Caleb thought for a long moment. “Well, maybe I can help with that. You’re someone who cares about other people. You believe in fairness. In justice. You’re capable of thinking outside the box they put you in, and you push back when you feel it’s necessary. You’re loyal, sometimes to a fault. And you always try to do the right thing, even when it isn’t easy.”

Ryan had asked why he tried to save Lydell, even after everything she’d done to them. He’d acted on blind instinct—surely that said something about who he was deep down.

That was something to hold on to. To build from.

Caleb brushed a lock of his hair back from his forehead. “I can’t imagine how confusing and upsetting this all must be for you. But we knowyou.We know your heart.” He leaned in and gently kissed John’s forehead. “We see you.”

Emotion thickened John’s throat. “Things might change.”

“Things always change.” Caleb gave him a smile. “I imagine you need to do some soul searching. This is your chance to become more…you. Which means we get more you, too. That’s a good thing.”

John’s phone rang. He picked it up and glanced at the display. “Kaniyar,” he said, before answering it.

“Report to the local SPECTR office—I’ll text the address,” she said without preamble. “Bring both drakul with you.”

She hung up. Caleb frowned. “What did she want?”

John sat up and reached for his underwear. “She wants us to come into SPECTR offices. I’m guessing to talk about our next steps.”

Where was Ryan now? Could they save him from himself?

Jo said he didn’t want to be saved, and she was probably right. But as Caleb had said, John was loyal; that much felt true. He wasn’t going to abandon Ryan if there was any hope of safely stopping him.

I’m coming,he thought, even though that wasn’t how telepathy worked.Please, Ryan, stop this insanity. You saved us all at the Center.

Please, just let me save you back.

EIGHT

Ryan suckeddown yet another cup of gas-station coffee, fighting his body’s desire for sleep. His head pounded relentlessly now, and his eyes ached. A nosebleed had started shortly after he convinced the delivery driver to hand over his car, hat, and deliveries, and still dripped intermittently.

The wheels hummed monotonously, while outside the windows the landscape went from foothills to mountains. He was heading up the great spine of the Appalachians. Old mountains, these were: older than bone and once high as the Himalayas.

No more, though. They’d been worn down, pared away, until only nubs remained. Just like his life, his friends, everything.

He was alone now. He’d gotten back his surviving friends, only to have them torn away a second time by SPECTR.

It hurt. God, it hurt. Being with Jonny and Selina again had felt right, in a way nothing else had since leaving the Center.

If only there had been some way to incapacitate the drakul. Without its interference, things would have gone differently. They would have had Director Kaniyar in their hands, and the three of them would still be together, as they should be.

Agent Pittman had a number of ideas on the subject. Apparently, Director Kaniyar had put a great deal of thought into how to stop the drakul, should it become necessary. Unfortunately, none of her ideas were applicable for a normal civilian, let alone one on the run. He couldn’t exactly lure it into a foundry and knock it into a vat of molten steel, let alone any of her plans that involved military grade weapons. Even the simplest method, a powerful spirit ward, was beyond his ability to create.

So Selina—Jo—was in custody. And John was still bound to SPECTR, unable to escape.

Ryan was alone again, as he’d been for so many years. But at least this time, he had some purpose outside of the petty punishments he’d dealt out to his parents and granddad.

He needed to focus on taking down Harlow. This would be the most difficult part of his plan, but he had to believe he could carry it out. Once Harlow was dead…

Best not to think about that. SPECTR wouldn’t stop coming for him, and he wasn’t going to end up in another lab.

---