Page 53 of April Flowers

Lillian Earnheart was not an easy woman. Margot knew that better than most.

She kept reading and discovered more and more entries from Lillian and Frank’s time apart. Margot’s palms were sweaty with fear and sorrow.

It had taken nearly a year for Frank to move back into the house. It looked as though Lillian had spent nearly the entirety of that year begging him to.

But why, exactly, had Frank left? And why was Vic so curious about this time of Lillian’s life?

It didn’t make any sense.

It was nearly midnight when Margot got up the nerve and the compassion to return to the sofa and wake up her mother. Gently, she guided her mother upstairs, where Margot sat at the edge of her mother’s bed and waited as she got undressed, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. Lillian slipped under the sheets and fell asleep almost immediately, abandoning Margot in her world of darkness and confusion.

You think it’s my fault that Dad’s dead, she thought.But what are you hiding from me, Mom?

Chapter Nineteen

That Saturday, the movers packed everything up in Boston and came to Nantucket to deliver Avery’s belongings. Her boxes littered the hallway, the living room, and the guest bedroom, which were filled with posters, scrapbooks, and T-shirts with ironic sayings. They were filled with knickknacks she’d bought with her mother, memories from better times. Inexplicably, there was a life-sized stuffed giraffe, which Avery said she’d won at a carnival last year.

“It’s terrifying,” Noah said because it was true that the giraffe wore a strange and sinister smile.

Avery said, “I know. That’s what I like about it.”

Noah laughed, shaking his head. He remembered when he’d wanted to freak his parents out, too. He remembered when he’d wanted to assert himself as an adult—long before he turned eighteen.

Perhaps because Avery wanted to see and touch her old things again, she set to work immediately, fitting her new bedroom with the style of her old one. Noah asked a thousand times if she needed help, and Avery answered each time that she didn’t. She wanted to do it herself.

She was figuring out a way to move forward.

Noah wondered if this meant she had no plans to run away again. He guessed he had to trust her on that. Instead of bothering her with anything emotionally wrought, he asked if she wanted pizza for delivery, and she said, “Do you even have to ask?”

He called the pizza place immediately and ordered three pies. He knew she’d eat at least one of them all by herself, and they’d need backup for later that night.

Grief made her hungry. But she was also a teenager. It all added up.

Since Thursday night’s insanity, Noah had only heard from Margot via text message. She’d explained that she was “exploring why Vic Rondell was so close with her mother” and that she couldn’t fully get into it yet.

MARGOT: I’m spending as much time with Mom as I can. I don’t want Vic around anymore. But she misses him. She’s asked about him five times just this morning.

MARGOT: I feel like there’s so much to explain. Let’s meet up later this week.

MARGOT: I just can’t leave Lillian alone right now. And I’m kind of a mess.

NOAH: We can bring her wherever we go.

MARGOT: Haha. It’s like when we were first going out, and she sat with us wherever we were, keeping one eye on whatever we did. Our chaperone.

Noah’s heart ballooned at the memories of those long ago days.

MARGOT: She hated me even then! She never wanted me!

The tone of these messages was meant to be humorous, but Noah didn’t know what to text back. He thrummed with sorrow for a second.

NOAH: Lillian has always been a complicated person. But she’s your mother. She loves you. She just doesn’t know how to show it very well.

Just like Mona didn’t know how to take care of herself. Just like Mona didn’t know how to stick around.

The world was filled with mothers whose capacity for care couldn’t match their love for their children. It was a tragedy, but it happened all the time.

During the week, Margot invited Noah and Avery to a Coleman family dinner, to be held that Friday night. Noah was taken off guard. Never in his life had he entered the immaculate home of a wealthy Coleman. Did he really belong there? No. Not in the least. But Avery didn’t have any qualms about accepting and said, “Uncle Noah, we have to try that food. We can’t miss out. Come on.” Noah agreed that it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

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