Page 12 of April Flowers

Chapter Five

Noah woke up Sunday morning with what felt like a blunt axe stuck between his eyes. What little sleep he’d managed to find had been plagued with nightmares and images from long ago. When he limped into the combined living room/kitchen, he found the empty pizza boxes and the abandoned cans of Diet Mountain Dew and felt his shoulders drop. Avery was here. Mona was dead. Feeling tortured, he made himself a big pot of coffee and watched gray light play over the waves. He was grateful he’d managed to get Avery up and into the shower last night. He’d made up the guest bedroom, putting warm flannel sheets on the bed. Avery had limped from the shower and fallen into bed, wearing a big T-shirt he'd lent her. She hadn’t even had the energy to close the door all the way.

It was twenty-two degrees and windy outside, but Noah took his coffee onto the porch, hoping the chill would help with his headache. All he could think about was what he had to do this week: call the high school, handle the juvenile detention center, and figure out what to do with Avery and Mona’s things up in Boston. Since Avery’s little runaway escapade, he’d been hyper focused on finding her. Now that she was back, he had to tend to the numerous messes at his feet.

But it was Sunday, so he could only wait and worry.

Avery stayed in the guest bedroom all day. From the living room, Noah could hear her flicking through the channels on the television he kept in there. She was probably watching more dating shows. He was probably already failing as a “parent” in letting her watch so much television. But she was sixteen. She’d just lost her mom. She’d been somewhere in the cold. He wanted her to rest.

It was only when Noah disappeared to the bathroom or into his bedroom that Avery crept out to the kitchen and filled her arms with food. The fridge was already mostly empty, which felt incredible. Noah was an adult male who weighed nearly two hundred pounds. Avery weighed ninety-five pounds soaking wet.

But it gave him an idea.

Around six thirty that evening, Noah crept to the door of the guest bedroom and knocked. No answer. In fact, if he wasn’t mistaken, Avery turned the television volume up. But he knocked again and said, “I was thinking about going into town for burgers.”

Avery cut the TV and said, “Um, okay.” It was the best Noah was going to get.

Noah and Avery drove to Harbor Burgers, an old-fashioned burger joint located just a stone’s throw from the tied-up boats in the port. It was already dark, and a cool, shimmery mist had settled over the harbor.

As they walked from their parking spot to the door, Avery said of the harbor, “It looks like a horror movie.”

Noah was relieved she’d spoken to him. “Yeah. How much of this place do you remember?”

“I was only gone four years,” Avery said, sounding defensive.

Didn’t she remember that four years was a quarter of her life? Four years ago, she’d been twelve years old with braceson her teeth and a pink streak in her blond hair. How could she remember anything more than a beach or two, a favorite restaurant, or an ice cream shop?

But Noah decided not to bring this up. He said, “Right,” and opened the door for her. She stepped through and shot to a table in the corner, where she burrowed herself in a menu. It seemed like she didn’t want to be seen. But would anyone recognize her? Noah guessed not.

It’s just teenage paranoia, he thought.

Noah and Avery ordered two bacon cheeseburgers with extra cheese and extra-crispy bacon, a big basket of french fries, an additional basket of onion rings, a chocolate milkshake, and a strawberry milkshake. Avery gave him a steely-eyed look.

“What?” Noah asked.

“Mom would never let me order that much food.”

Noah could imagine Mona, exasperated, saying,Avery, come on. Do you remember what a vegetable is?

“Do you think I shouldn’t let you?” He sensed she was testing him.

Avery raised her shoulders and traced her gaze through the burger place. It was almost fully packed, its booths stuffed with Nantucket locals eager for a greasy bite to keep them warm through the night. Unlike yesterday, her hair was clean and fluffy and lighter, and she had more color to her cheeks. It hurt Noah to remember what she’d looked like in that juvenile detention room. She’d looked like a wounded and angry animal.

Their milkshakes arrived. Noah pretended to be really interested in his, turning it around and around as the whipped cream settled into the chocolate ice cream. He tried to remember what Avery was into lately and realized he didn’t know. He had no idea what to talk to her about. She and Mona hadn’t visited Nantucket in two years, and Noah had had a busy time of it,entrenching himself in his work as a way, maybe, to forget how lonely he felt. He didn’t like remembering that.

Mona’s death had come out of nowhere. It had been a smack to the face.

Now, he was taking a few weeks off work to grieve. But that felt like the opposite of what he needed. He needed to pour himself into other people’s problems. He needed to hide from himself.

The front door opened and brought in a familiar face. Samantha Coleman.

As usual, when Noah saw her, he struggled with a myriad of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, a part of him recognized Sam as family. On the other hand, a part of him wanted to shrink away from her and hide from their shared past.

But Sam never let him hide for long.

With a bright and eager smile, Sam led her new partner, Derek, over to Noah and Avery’s table. Her eyes were rimmed with red, which felt like proof she’d heard about Mona. Gossip traveled fast around here. Probably everyone knew that Avery had been in juvie.

He imagined hundreds of Nantucketers saying,Oh, poor Noah, poor pathetic Noah, he’s already been through so much.

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