Page 19 of Toxic

As soon as the truck pulled away, I was on the phone. “Are you in love with Toxic?” I blurted out as soon as my best friend answered the phone.

“...what?” she squeaked.

“Is that why you mentioned that I liked him?” I continued, trying to hold myself together. It wasn’t going well because my voice was getting higher pitched with each word. I was nearly panicking with the thought. “Because he’s…like…really helping me out. More than I expected. And if he’s yours that’s so beyond inappropriate. I mean, nothing’s happened. I swear to you nothing has, but he-”

“Billie!”

I bit the insides of my lips to hold back the rest of my rant.

“Take a breath.”

I was breathing. “Mmmhhhmmm.”

“I’m not in love with Toxic.”

It was like a horse kicked me in the gut. My breath whooshed out. Guess I’d been holding it after all.

“Are you?”

“Keels, I’ve known the man for a few hours. Of course I’m not in love with him,” I hissed as I walked through the hospital halls.

“Uh huh. The last time I remember you being this way was-”

“Don’t even say his name.”

“Will,” she said at the same time.

I groaned. “Don’t say the name, Keely!”

She laughed. “It’s not going to summon him, Billie.”

“It might,” I muttered, looking around. I didn’t need that asshole appearing around any corners. That would make a shitty situation even worse.

“For someone so practical, you sure are superstitious.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“Why were you freaking out?” she asked.

I covered my face with my hand and leaned against the wall. Frowning, I pressed it to my cheek. Was my hand that cold? Or was my face too warm? Ignoring that, I sighed. “I don’t know. I’m so confused, Keely. I almost threw up, and he was holding my hair back. And…there was just a minute there where I sort of wanted-”

“Wanted what?” she breathed as though she was hanging on every word.

“I don’t know. Look, you’re sure?”

“I don’t want Toxic,” she said in that way that I knew she was crossing her heart and hoping to die. It was something we’d done since we were younger.

“Okay,” I said in relief. Though I wasn’t sure why, because it wasn’t like I could let anything happen between us. It would be irresponsible and I didn’t have the luxury of extra time to devote to someone else anyway.

“Billie, it’s okay to get involved with someone again.”

My eyes narrowed. “Since when did you start reading minds?”

“Only yours,” she said with a laugh. “Will was an asshole. That doesn’t mean they all are.”

“Just the really pretty ones,” I countered. Her hesitation was loud over the phone. “Is Toxic an asshole?” I gasped.

“No,” she insisted. “But…”

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