Page 61 of The Saint

He put down his phone when I addressed him directly.

“Is everything okay?”

He took a bite of his food as he stared at me, and he seemed to drag out the answer on purpose. “I’ve got a lot of shit going on at work right now.”

“I know. That wasn’t the question I asked.” The fact that he tried to dodge it made me more concerned about whatever he was dealing with. “I asked if everything is okay, if you’re okay.”

“Everything is fine, sweetheart.”

It was the first time he’d lied to me. I could tell because he was terrible at it. “You said you wouldn’t lie to me.”

He released a frustrated sigh, like a parent annoyed with their child. “I’m having to deal with a lot of shit right now. I know I haven’t been home a lot?—”

“I don’t have an issue with that, Bastien. I just want to know you’re okay.”

He relaxed in the chair, no longer interested in his meal, and just stared at me. “I’m okay. Everything will be okay. I’m just in the middle of something.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s not your problem.”

“I’m going to marry you, so itismy problem.”

He released another sigh, backed into a corner the way he’d backed me into a corner so many times. “Please let this go.” He said it quietly with a slight plea to his voice, a controlled desperation.

I wanted to know what was consuming him so deeply, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, I wouldn’t force it out of him. Like a vault, he locked away his secrets, and only at the most unexpected times did he punch in the code and open the door to me. “Alright.”

“Thank you.” He went back to his meal, his appetite returning once the interrogation ended. He shoved a big bite into his mouth, and his impressive jawline hardened as he chewed. He could do anything and look hot—ride horses, chop down trees. He could be a garbageman, and he’d even make that sexy. “Any thoughts on the wedding?”

I doubted he cared about the wedding, just wanted to change the subject. “I’m guessing you want a big wedding because you know literally everybody?”

He chewed his bite as he stared at me hard. “I want to marry the woman I love. I don’t give a shit about the guest list. What do you want?”

“I don’t know, honestly.” I’d already had a big wedding when I married Adrien. Hundreds of people in a big church, a grand reception, the whole nine yards. It had been the best day of my life until the day I’d wondered if it was all a lie. “Something small is fine with me, but I feel like you should have a say in this since I’ve already had a wedding.” I didn’t want to bring up Adrien, but I did have experience where Bastien did not. It had to factor into the decision.

“You’ve had a wedding before, but you’ve never married me before.” His blue eyes could be so breathtaking sometimes, like now when he was all serious and intense. “This one is gonna last—until I die.”

I only had a handful of friends and no family, so the number of people on my side would be minimal. But Bastien was right. The guest list didn’t matter.

“The only thing I want, the only thing I won’t compromise on, is seeing you in a wedding dress. I want you to take my name as your own. Then I want to take off that dress and leave it on my bedroom floor.Ourbedroom floor. As long as I have those things, I’ll be happy. You can decide everything else.”

He hadn’t struck me as a romantic guy when we’d met, but he was by far the most romantic man I’d ever been with. “Last time I saw Adrien, I told him I was going to marry you. Then you asked me just a couple hours later.”

His eyes didn’t soften like I expected. They turned more possessive, like he was on the verge of taking me to the church and making me his wife at that very moment. “I guess we were both thinking the same thing that night.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Except he’d been thinking about it longer, long enough that he’d had time to buy me a big-ass diamond ring that could knock a man out cold. “Since we’re on this subject, I wanted to ask you about something.”

He stopped eating his dinner, either because he was full and there were only a few pieces left, or this conversation was taking all of his focus. “What is it, sweetheart?”

I hadn’t thought this far in advance, not when everything had happened so fast, not when I’d gone from a heartbroken divorcée to head over heels in love in a matter of seconds. But now, the moment was here, and it was time to face it. “I realize this conversation is premature because I’m not in this headspace right now, but…we should talk about kids.”

He didn’t blink or flinch. Didn’t grow visibly uncomfortable by the subject.

Adrien had always dragged his feet on it. Anytime I mentioned it, he looked like he would have a full-on panic attack. But now, that was a blessing because I wouldn’t have wanted to have kids with such a lying, spineless man. Now, Bastien…I would love to have his babies. Especially if they had his eyes… Oh lord help me.

After a beat, Bastien spoke. “We can have them if you want them.”

“But how do you feel about it?”

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