Page 22 of The Saint

“You’re the one who said it—not me.”

“I know…”

“Several times.”

“Yeah…”

“I’ve taken it slow like I said I would. My foot was on the brake, but you stepped on the gas.”

“I get it, Bastien.”

“Then why am I being punished right now?” His tone turned clipped, the anger coming out.

“Punished?”

“You tell me you love me, and then you leave,” he said. “That’s called whiplash.”

I stared at the fire.

“Look at me.”

I sucked in a deep breath and met his look.

Now, he looked furious, his eyes hard and angry. “What is the problem, Fleur?”

“There is no problem.”

“Then why did you run?”

“I didn’t run. I just needed a moment.”

“To what?” he snapped. “You can tell your ex-husband you love me, but you don’t have the balls to say it to my face?”

I sucked in another breath. “He told you that?”

“Yeah, he fucking did,” he said. “You’ve said it three times—that I know of. But you act like this is brand-new information?—”

“May I speak?” His anger had gotten the best of him, and he was running me into the ground.

A flash of anger moved over his eyes, but he gave a nod and conceded.

I tried to piece together my emotions, to build them into a story that would make sense. “I don’t know how long I’ve felt this way. Makes me wonder if I’ve always felt this way. Since the night we met. Since the first time I touched you…” I swallowed, struggling to hold his gaze because the anger was still visible. “I fought it for a long time, but then I fought it less, and that’s when it started to creep into my words and actions without my even realizing it. Because it’s just so inherently right that I knew it was true before I even admitted it.”

His eyes began to soften, his anger fading away like clouds on the wind.

“It scares me because…I know this is it. When I married Adrien, I thought it would last forever, but this is so different, I can’t even compare the two. I wasn’t the same person then that I am now—and this is who I’m supposed to be.”

He showed no anger at all now. Just a soft gaze.

I looked away because it was too much. “I love you so much—” within a single breath, the tears were in my eyes, blurring my vision “—that it fucking scares me. I drowned in a coffin, and I still want to stay. I’ve watched men try to kill you, men who would have killed me if they’d succeeded with you, and I still can’t imagine my life with anyone else. This is not the life that I wanted—but I don’t fucking care because you’re the man I want.” My voice rose louder as I continued to talk, continued to cry. “And I can’t believe this is it, that this is my life. Because even though I trust you, I’m still fucking scared because I love you more than I ever loved him, and you could fucking break me into pieces if you ever walked away.” My cries turned to sobs,an ugly cry, but I couldn’t stop the dam that had opened and the flood that rushed out. “I’ve never been so scared in my life. I would rather drown in that coffin again than watch you leave me for someone else.” I knew he would be angry with me for what I said, for comparing him to Adrien, for suggesting he was capable of such deceit, but those were my true feelings. I didn’t believe he would ever hurt me, but just knowing the power he had if he chose to hurt me was fucking terrifying.

“Sweetheart.” He moved over to me, his knees on the rug, sliding his hands into my hair to pull it from my face. He swiped his thumbs over my cheeks to catch the tears that dripped to my lips.

I looked at him, his face blurry from the moisture that coated my eyes. My breaths continued, labored and shaky, and I felt stark naked in a blizzard, vulnerable to the cold, with a sharp dagger to my heart.

I blinked a few times, his face becoming clear.

He continued to stare at me. “I have the power to hurt you, but you have the power to bring me to my knees, to make me fall stupidly and desperately in love when I thought I was incapable of feeling a damn thing. Now I have something I love more than anything, something I must protect like my life depends on it, because it does. I’m wrapped around your finger, trapped under your thumb, so hopelessly in love with you that I would burn this city if you ever left me.” He slid his hand farther into my hair and cradled my face. “But I know you won’t, not when I’ll never give you a reason to. Not when I’ll suffocate you with my love and desire. When I’ll never make you question what you mean to me, when I’ll never make you wonder where I am or who I’m with, when your call is the one I’ll always take. When a minute doesn’t pass before your text gets a reply.”

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