Page 141 of Desperate Actions

She presses her lips together.

“But, well, just don’t hurt him, Aella, okay?”

There’s something in the way she says it that makes my chest tighten.

I blink, stunned by the raw emotion in her voice.

“I would never hurt him, Ann.”

She searches my face, like she’s trying to find some hidden truth in my expression.

“I know you say that. But you don’t understand.”

She exhales sharply, like she’s trying to steady herself.

“When he enlisted, we were all terrified. And when he came home after his first major ops, something inside him changed. He doesn’t talk about it, but I know.”

I do understand.

More than she realizes.

“I worried about him then, too,” I admit, my voice softer now. “When my parents were talking about him going into service, I cried for a week. Went to church. Lit candles.”

Andrea’s eyes widened.

“Yeah?”

I nod.

And when a single tear slips down my cheek, I don’t wipe it away.

Because I remember those nights.

Lying in bed, staring at my ceiling, praying he’d come home safe.

Wondering if he even thought about me while he was over there.

Andrea sniffs, then—before I know it—she steps forward and pulls me into a tight embrace.

“I’m glad to hear that. I know how much he cares for you,” she murmurs, voice thick.

“I do too,” and for the first time, I acknowledge that truth.

Sammy loves me.

I’m sure of it. And acknowledging that is better than chocolate cake.

“I hope you don’t mind me butting in. He’s my big brother, Aella. I love him. I worry about him.”

“I worry about him, too,” I whisper and squeeze my eyes shut, swallowing hard.

“And he’s always been so solid. So strong and solitary.” She pulls back, eyes glistening. “But even the strongest of us have weaknesses. Sammy deserves someone who really cares about him.”

My heart aches.

I take a shaky breath and give her the one truth I haven’t said out loud until now.

“I’ve loved him my whole life, Andrea.”

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