Page 87 of Conspiracies and Chemistry

I drained my glass and held it out to Lucie for a refill. “I don’t love him. I learned my lesson with Harry. And my dad.”

“Your dad,” Lucie said darkly. “Nowthere’sa major dick.”

“You told them about your dad?” Bridget asked.

“Oliver did. I should’ve known then not to trust him.”

“You toldOliverabout your dad?” Bridget’s eyes went wide.

“Couldn’t help it. He showed up at the lab.”

“But you’d have told him,” Savannah said. “Because you’re in love.”

“Am not.” I swigged the tequila and held out my glass again.

“Aren’t you?” Savannah asked. “What were all those long walks about last week?”

“Wait.” Lucie stopped mid-pour. “Are you saying you’ve been wandering the streets of San Jose like some kind of bleak-moment movie montage?”

“I…I guess?” Was that what I’d done? I’d thought getting away from my house, where I’d so many happy hours with him, would take my mind off everything. All I’d done was replay those good times in my mind. His caretaking. His whisperedI love yous.

Savannah clapped her hands. “You know what comes next, right?”

“A hangover and a killer headache?” I tossed back the half a shot in my glass.

“No. A grand gesture. You have to go back to him and grovel. Or let him grovel. I’m not sure which of you is more to blame in this love story.”

“Him,” I said.

“You,” Lucie said at the same time.

“I thought you were my friend,” I said, gazing into her brown eyes. All four of them. How had she grown an extra pair?

“I’m always honest, especially with my friends,” she said. “Yes, he was wrong to keep the truth from you, but you abandoned him when he needed you most. Go back, tell him you were wrong to leave, and help him. That is, if you care about him.”

Suddenly, my head was too heavy. I dropped my chin into my hand. “Fuck me. I do. What if he doesn’t want my help? I’m only good at wrecking things, not building them.”

“That’s not true.” Bridget nudged me, and I rested my sloshy head against her shoulder. “You built Red Rover from nothing. And you spearheaded that endometriosis project at Discovery. You can build things. And rebuild them. All you need is the courage to try.”

“Courage.” I huffed. “Something I haven’t had in a long, long, long, long time.”

“What are you talking about?” Justine asked. “It took courage to defy your dad and go away to college. To leave college and start Red Rover. To start your foundation. And to go to work at Discovery.”

“And most of all, to let yourself love someone,” Savannah said.

“I don’t?—”

“Don’t try to tell us again that you don’t love him.” My eyes were closed, but I could hear Lucie rolling her eyes.

“Wasn’t.” My tongue was thick in my mouth. “Was going to say I don’t think I can drive over there. Who can drive me to Oliver’sss?”

My world went black before anyone answered.

It was red outside my eyelids, which meant I’d slept through my alarm.

Let’s face it, it was probably red inside my eyelids too.Whyhad I insisted on that foolish fourth tequila shot? Party Tessa had forgotten she was a forty-three-year-old woman with endometriosis. Next-day Tessa couldn’t forget.

I groaned as I tried to analyze the pain. Was it worse in my head or in my abdomen?

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