Page 24 of Conspiracies and Chemistry

12

Big Sugar Controls the World

From Barry Wright’s manifesto:

In the 1960s, agents of the sugar industry paid scientists to publish a study that blamed saturated fat as the cause of heart disease, even though there was also a link between sugar and bad health. More and more sugar has been creeping into our diets, when we’d all be stronger if we ate some good old-fashioned meat and potatoes.

TESSA

“Thatwas an adventure.” Lucie kissed my cheek and handed me her coat.

“I like my privacy,” I grumbled. “I’m starting to regret inviting you over.”

“Navigating your security system wasn’t that bad.” Carly wiped her shoes on the mat and stepped over the threshold. I’d locked my girls in an upstairs bedroom, but thankfully, she hadn’t brought her dog. My cats had never met a dog, but I suspected they wouldn’t be fans of her excitable little fluffball. “How’s she doing?”

“Honestly?” I grimaced. “Not great. She got a call from Jason this morning, then she deep-cleaned the kitchen. She was singing Jo Dee Messina on repeat the whole time.” Before this morning, I couldn’t have identified the country artist in a lineup, but I’d looked her up after the fifth warbling repetition of “A Lesson in Leavin’.”

“Who?” Andrew stepped into the doorway, loaded down with a pair of duffel bags.

“Don’t worry about it, honey.” Carly brushed his arm. “We’re talking about music from before your time. Why don’t you go set up in the kitchen.”

“Hey, Tessa. Cool security system.” He nodded at me and carried the bags into the kitchen, where Savannah cooed at him.

“I thought this was going to be a trial run, not a Hollywood production.” I held out my hand for Carly’s coat, a buttery-soft buff cashmere.

“You know Andrew. He’s…thorough.” Her cheeks went pink.

“Ew. It’s way too early for sexual innuendos.” I stuck my face in the hall closet while I hung up the coats.

“Girl,” Lucie said, “you’re clearly not getting the right kind of sex if you think it’severtoo early. Am I right?”

When I turned, Lucie nudged Carly with her elbow. I groaned. “Spare me the sexually satisfied commentary. I hope you both get cock-blocked at family Christmas gatherings.”

“Ooh.” Lucie’s eyes flared. “Someone’s jealous. How long’s it been, Tessa?”

“Not that long,” I lied. Even my favorite suction vibrator had failed me last night when a shaggy head of hair had popped into my brain. It had killed my libido since I obviously didnotwant my clit sucked by my frustrating coworker.

She twitched her lips to the side, then strode into the kitchen.

“Don’t mind her,” Carly said. “She’s not getting enough sleep these days. Danny’s helping with everything he can, but she’s nursing, so the middle-of-the-night feedings are on her.”

“Sounds like a nightmare,” I said.

“But worth it,” my childless friend said. “For her.”

“I guess.” I peered out the sidelight next to the door. “You didn’t see Bridget out there, did you?”

“No.” Carly frowned. “You think she got stuck in your security protocols?”

“She knows how to get in.” She was one of the few who did since she’d ignored my pleas to be left alone after the Red Rover disaster.

“Then I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” Carly hitched up her enormous bag. “I’d better get started on Savannah’s makeup.”

Forty-five minutes later, Bridget hadn’t arrived, and Savannah was unrecognizable.

“Is my hair supposed to be this crunchy?” Savannah asked. “I haven’t worn this much Aqua Net since the ’80s.”

“You look fantastic.” Carly held up a hand mirror. “I wanted to keep it consistent throughout the shoot. Don’t you like it?”

---