Page 31 of Conspiracies and Chemistry

“We’re done talking about this. I’ve got to check on my assay at the lab, so we need to get this over with. I’m going to hit the lights, and we’re doing this in one take.”

To his credit, he did manage it in one take. And keeping him in frame while he talked about the earth’s orbit and the math behind the solstice distracted me from thoughts about Tessa for an hour or so.

Too bad the distraction didn’t last longer.

14

Wargames

From Barry Wright’s manifesto:

In the 1980s, the arcade gamePolybiuswas released in Portland, Oregon, in unmarked cabinets. Players reported illness, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts. One of my buddies said men in black monitored the games. Could thePolybiusgame have been a test of psychological warfare?

TESSA

Atap on the doorframe of my office made me jump like one of the words on the screen, probablyEnzyme-Linked Immunosorbent Assay,had electrocuted me.

West leaned in the doorway. “You look puzzled. Everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said automatically. My dad’s unexpected visit, Savannah’s increasingly messy divorce, and my own stupidity regarding biomedical engineering were all safely put away in separate containers in my brain. They weren’t glowing, ready to explode and contaminate my professionalism. Mostly.

He stepped into my office, hands in the pockets of his jeans. Oliver always wore trousers, sometimes khakis on Fridays, and Dr. Perrell wore skirts with colorfully patterned blouses. I wore my standard uniform of black pants with shirts in neutral colors. But West, like most of the people his age who worked here, always wore jeans and a collared shirt, often with the sleeves rolled up. He didn’t come all the way to my desk, but he came far enough inside that he could’ve closed the door behind him. Like he was offering a tête-à-tête. “You sure?”

“It’s nothing to concern HR, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No.” He took another step toward me. “I’m not asking as the head of human resources. I’m asking as your colleague. As someone who could be a friend. You’ve come into a tough situation with high expectations. Biotech is outside your comfort zone. And Oliver isn’t making things easy for you.”

I winced. There was nothing easy about the status report Oliver had sent me with its esoteric phrases I couldn’t understand, much less summarize for Dr. Perrell. “Am I that transparent?”

He shrugged. “It’s kind of my job to know when people are struggling.”

“I’m not struggling.” Certainly, he could hear the lie too.

“It’s okay to admit you need help,” he said. “You don’t have to do everything alone.”

“Don’t I? They say Steve Jobs personally picked the shade of white used in Apple products.” That was what I’d done wrong all those years ago. I’d let someone else do the due diligence on MuskOx Tech. I’d trusted Harry, and that had led to my biggest mistake.

A tiny crease formed between his eyebrows. “I’m not sure Steve Jobs is the example we want to emulate here.”

Of course he’d say that. Human resources’ role was to ensure everyone played nice and no one had grounds for a lawsuit. MuskOx’s HR team had done a stellar job of that after the buyout. Anonymously, I’d set up a fund to help my former employees. When some of them had used it to bring wrongful termination lawsuits against the new owners, MuskOx Tech had batted each one aside like Hedy with a feather toy.

The memory left a bitter taste in my mouth. I swigged my coffee and shuddered. It was cold and almost as bitter.

“I’m good,” I assured him. I’d dealt with the fallout of my mistake alone for the last fourteen years. I could do this alone too. “Just working through some science here. I don’t suppose you know what an Enzyme-Linked Immunosorbent Assay—ELISA—is, do you?”

He raised his palms like a shield and chuckled. “Nope. My degree was in sport and performance psychology. You’ll have to ask Oliver or one of the other scientists.”

Hope flared inside me. I could ask Aanya. She was smart. Then the spark faded. If I went around Oliver, I risked word getting back to him. I’d look like a coward.

I was no coward.

“You’re right.” I rolled back my chair and stood. When there was something unpleasant to do, it was best to get it over with as quickly as possible. “Good talk.” Careful not to brush against him, I stepped through the door. “Thanks.”

The crinkle between his eyebrows was back. “Anytime.”

I strode to the lab, where I put on the ridiculous coat and pulled back my hair with an elastic. Might as well go all in with the regulations if I was going to expose my ignorance and beg for help. My stomach soured.

Taking a deep breath, I walked to the bench where Oliver usually worked, next to the sign where I’d posted the number69today. It was spotless, as usual. But he wasn’t there. I glanced at the closest computer workstation. No Oliver.

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