Page 89 of Books and Hookups

“But I’m not asking you to give up anything,” I insisted. The rest of my family had arrived, and they were loitering nearby, pretending to mind their own business but listening to every word. “I’m offering to help you achieve your dreams. When we’re married and living together, it’ll be easy for me to care for the baby while you’re off saving the world.”

“Let me finish,” she said. “I won’t let you do what my mom did. My dreams aren’t the only ones that are important. I didn’t want to saddle you with a baby, much lessa mortgage. You can’t give up your plans for the bar, not even for the baby. And certainly not for me.”

She heaved herself off the bench and started walking back the way we’d come.

I snapped the box shut and shoved it back into my pocket. When I looked up, all four of my siblings and my mom stared at me as they held up their phones.Fuck!They’d recorded the whole humiliating spectacle. Because I’d asked them to.

I sprang after Lucie.

She was walking fast, but she was still tired and pregnant. I caught her in a minute. “Look, let’s take some time to think about it. We'll talk. You’ll tell me what you want, and we’ll find a middle ground.”

She planted her feet and jammed her hands onto her hips. “We don’t have to talk through it. Here’s what I want: I want to live in the city so I can do my job. I want this child to grow up seeing her mother as a strong, independent woman who doesn’t have to compromise between motherhood and a career.

“And here’s what I don’t want: I don’t want to ruin your life by making you give up what you want for some family fantasy I can’t—I won’t—give you.”

She waved back to where my family stood in a circle around that bench, sneaking looks at us. “I can’t give you that. This baby is it for me. Someday, you’ll find one of those nice women at church who can give you five more kids and who wants to live out in the fucking suburbs. But that’s not me.” She strode off down the path.

I jogged to catch up. “I don’t want a nice woman. I want you.” Then I played back what I’d said and winced. “I mean?—”

She gazed straight ahead. “You’re very sweet, Danny. But you’re young, and you have no idea what you want.”

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to a stop. “Goddammit! I’m thirty fucking years old! I know what I want, and it’s you!”

“No, Danny, it’s not.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “You want the dream. That’s not me.”

I tugged her into my arms. “You’re right about a lot of things, Lucie Knox, but you’re wrong about this.” I kissed the top of her head. “Come on. I’ll take you home, then I’ll go to work. We can talk about it in the morning.”

“No.” She pulled out of my arms. “I already texted Carly. She’s going to pick me up. I need space.”

“Okay. We can talk after I get off work tonight.”

She shook her head. “I need more space than that. I’ll find you when I’m ready to talk.”

“But when?—”

She turned and walked away, and I knew better than to follow. I wasn’t sure I could, anyway, with my heart shattered in pieces there on the path.

31

We Bat-Signal the Goddess Gang

I put dinner on the table so Marvin could do research that changed the world. I made sure our home was a haven where your mind could soar. When you were frustrated, which was a lot when you were young, I’d remind you to use your words. Now, you use your words to hold those in power accountable. His legacy and yours, the good work you do for others, is mine too.

Ellen Knox, homemaker

LUCIE

When I got into her car, Carly asked if I was okay, and I said I was. After that, my brain was too busy to speak. Why had Danny thought I’d accept a marriage proposal just because I was growing a child who shared my DNA and his? What indication had I given that I wanted that, especially in front of witnesses? And why the fuck did he think that at thirty he had any idea what he wanted?

Carly and Andrew’s new place wasn’t far from the park, but I counted seventeen worried glances during the drive. Finally, as she pulled into her driveway, she said, “I hope you don’t mind, but after you called, I texted Tessa and Savannah. This seemed like an all-hands-on-deck situation.”

There was a dull pang in my gut. I had hated having to call Carly, and I didn’t want to be the one who bat-signaled the whole Goddess Gang. But I had to admit it, I needed my girls.

“Thank you.”

An SUV whipped into the driveway as Carly pulled her sedan into the garage. Tessa. Her unmistakable mane of red hair glowed through the tinted windshield. When I hauled myself out of the car, Savannah was there to steady me.

“Where’d you come from?” I asked.

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