Page 59 of Books and Hookups

“Fuck you,” I said. She might care. A little. I hadn’t told Leo about kissing her in front of the church last week. She’d kissed me back. Though physical affection had never been a problem for us. It was the rest of her, her head and her heart, that I couldn’t break through to. She’d made that obvious when I’d asked her about her family, and she’d called it “typical.” No one’sfamily was typical. She just wouldn’t let me see all the weird, wonderful ways it was different.

The knock at my door made me jump, and I dropped the bag of Leo’s homemade croutons. They bounced off the counter onto the floor, and crunchy bread cubes spilled everywhere.

“Shit!” I muttered. “Lizbeth, can you answer the door while I sweep up?”

“Nah, I’ve got it,” Leo said. “Go kiss your lady love.”

“Shh! She’s not mylady love. Please don’t say the wordlovetonight. Orbaby mama.Or?—”

“Answer the door,” Leo said, “before she changes her mind.”

“Go to hell.” Stepping carefully over the mess, I jogged to the door and flung it open.

Lucie cradled a bottle of wine. She wore the same knee-length black dress she’d worn to the anniversary party last weekend. It looked comfortable, like an oversized T-shirt. Her tan legs were bare down to her black combat boots.

“You came.” Something inside me slotted into place. My heart hammered at my ribs, but I felt like I could take a full breath for the first time in hours. When I did, I got a whiff of the coconut product she used on her hair. It smelled amazing.

She held out the wine. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” I took it.

“It’s not so bad,” she said.

I checked the label on the wine. “It’s pretty good, actually. Barb’s too cheap to serve this.”

“I meant your thirties.” She scratched her arm. “When I turned thirty, I thought it was the end of my youth. And it kind of was, but there are good things about being in your thirties.”

“Like?” I stood aside so she could come in.

She bent to take off her boots and set them next to the pile of Leo’s and Lizbeth’s sneakers. “Like, I’m surer of myself than I was in my twenties. I sure as hell don’t know everything, but I know what’s important to me and what I want.”

“I guess that’s the one thing I’m ahead on. I already know all that.”

“Huh. I wish I’d had my head together when I was your age. Maybe my career would’ve taken off.”

I stared at her, hard. “Your career is amazing. You write incredible pieces all the time. The one about the assault weapons protest made me truly understand what those people were trying to say.”

“Oh, god. You don’t agree with them, do you?”

“No, of course not. But you made them seem like real people and not nutjobs.”

“Thanks.” She sniffed the air. “It smells amazing in here.”

“It’s Leo’s famous braciole. Don’t tell my ma, but it’s better than hers. You’ll love it.” At least I hoped she would. I hoped spending time with my family would help her see that we could be a family too. That despite how we began, we could find a way to love each other. That someday we could pull a highchair up to the table and have a special meal with all the people we cared most about.

I led her into the kitchen. “You already know Leo, and this is his girlfriend, Lizbeth.”

“I’m not really his girlfriend.” Lizbeth stuck out her hand. “We’re just fucking. Who wants to settle down? But I couldn’t pass up the chance to try Leo’s braciole.”

I widened my eyes at my brother. He shrugged. “I’m a superstar in both the kitchen and the sack. Sue me.”

No, no, no.This was exactly the wrong message to give Lucie.Family, not fuck-buddies.I should’ve invited Giuliana instead. At least she wouldn’t have brought a casual hookup to my birthday party. Probably.

“Who wants a drink?” I asked, going to the refrigerator. “I mixed up some nonalcoholic negroni sbagliatos, Lucie.”

“Yes, please,” Lucie said. “I’ll open the wine for the rest of you.”

I set the pitcher on the counter and passed her two wineglasses and the bottle opener. “I’ll drink the phony negronis,” I said. The pomegranate juice had given it a gorgeous red color like the real thing.

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