Page 56 of Books and Hookups

“Birthdays aren’t a big deal for me.” He picked up his fork and moved some food around on his plate.

He’d asked about celebrating birthdays earlier. Why would he say he didn’t want to celebrate his? “We could do something,” I whispered. Were those mind-altering mushrooms in Leo’s ravioli? Had I just offered to do something couple-y with him?

“Really?” he asked, just as softly. Those gold-brown eyes of his sucked me in.

“Yeah,” I murmured. Were mushrooms an aphrodisiac? Something strange was going on here. I swayed closer to him.

“Of course your birthday is a big deal,” his mother said. “You’ll come to the house. We’ll have a party. Prosecco, cake, and music. It’s not every day you turn thirty.”

The happy haze cleared from my brain.

“Thirty…what?” I asked.

20

A Hot Mess

It’s a tough job. Heartbreaking, sometimes. But I do it for the wins. Like the mom who stays clean for her kids. Or the guy who educates himself and rebuilds his life. Guiding these folks to become more than the mistakes they made, that’s my legacy. Seeing that transformation, that fight to be better...that’s what keeps me going.

Consuela Nova, parole officer

LUCIE

Were auditory hallucinations another pregnancy symptom? I stared at Danny’s mom, hoping she’d add another number to the thirty. Preferably a number bigger than five.

Giuliana’s brutal smile broadened. “My big brother’s turning thirty next week. Why? How old are you?”

My heart thundered in my chest. Danny seemed so mature, so in control. He had freakinggoals.I hadn’t had a clue about life when I was twenty-nine—which wasten yearsago. I stood so fast my folding chair thumped to the ground.

“I—I need air.”

Danny stood and righted my chair. “We’re already outside. Are you okay?”

“No.” I looked up into his unlined face. Fuck! I’d seen what I wanted to see. Anyone who paid attention would know it wasn’t good genes that made his skin so flawless. Or kept his stomach so flat and his hair so lush. It was the fact that he was in his goddamntwenties!“I’m leaving. I’ll call a rideshare.”

I turned and jogged away as quickly as I could, considering the sway of my upsized pregnancy boobs. I’d just reached the open doors into the hall when I felt a touch on my arm.

“No.” Knowing it was Danny, I shook my head. But I slowed to a brisk walk now that I was inside.

“Lucie, it doesn’t matter.”

I spun to face him. “You knew I thought you were older! Because I’d never…I wouldn’t…” But I had. Not only had I slept with a man in his twenties, but I’d let him get me pregnant. I’d saddled a man ten years younger than me with a child.

“I…figured you thought I was older. Most people do. Since I was a kid, and my mom needed help with my younger siblings, I’ve always acted like I was older. More responsible.” He glanced around us. “Let’s go outside.”

Shaking off his hand, I stomped out of the hall to the parking lot. The sun broke out from behind the clouds and blazed down on me, soaking into my black dress and heating my skin uncomfortably.

“You aren’t ready for this.” I gestured at my slightly rounded belly. “I wasn’t when I was in my twenties. How could you fucking not tell me you’re onlytwenty-nine?Did you know I’m ten years older than you? I’ll be forty in August.”

“How could I not tell you?” He flipped his palms up to the sky. “Because all you want to do with me is fuck. We don’t talk.”

“Talk? What do you want to talk about? We have nothing in common.”

He looked like I’d slapped him. “Because I didn’t go to college, because I work in a bar?—”

“That’s not it,” I cut in. “My life was totally different when I was in my twenties. I was still finding my way, figuring shit out.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And now you’ve got it all figured out?”

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