Page 34 of Books and Hookups

She jiggled the side. “It’s clean, but…oh no.”

“What’s ‘oh no’?”

With a clatter, one side of the crib fell. “These things have been illegal for at least ten years,” she said. “I mean, I used a drop-side crib for all four of my kids without an issue, but they’re banned. You can’t use this.”

I snorted. “Great. I already thought it was useless, and now it’s even more so. Can’t the baby just sleep with me for a while?”

Savannah’s eyes widened. “No! That’s even more dangerous than this crib. You could roll over her, or she could roll out of the bed onto the floor. Or the pillows and blankets could smother her.”

“Shit,” I said, horrified. “Sometimes I roll onto my stomach in my sleep. Could that hurt the baby?” I rubbed my belly.

“No,” she said. “By the time the baby’s big enough that sleeping on your stomach could hurt her, you’ll be too uncomfortable to sleep that way. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ve got a lot to learn.” And when would I have time to learn it? If I was going to finish writing this book before the baby came, I didn’t have time to fall into a baby research rabbit hole.

“Well, that’s why I brought you this.” Savannah reached into her enormous purse and pulled out a small, wrapped package. When I took it from her, I could tell it was a paperback. A thick one.

“What’s this?” I untied the bow, then pulled off the wrapping paper.

“It’s The Book,” she said, and I could tell she thought of it with the same reverence as the Bible. “It’s the only one you need.”

There was a silhouette of a pregnant woman sitting in a rocking chair on the pink cover. I flipped to the table of contents.

“Everything you need to know is in there. It’s an updated version of the one I read when I was pregnant the first time. Of course, you can ask me anything too.”

“Thanks.” I bit my lip. “First question: do babies really need all this shit?”

She pulled the side of the crib back up, and it locked with a clatter. “They need a safe place to sleep. Diapers.Tonsof diapers. A few changes of clothes, depending how often you plan to do laundry. Milk—though we won’t get into breastfeeding yet—and lots of love. That’s really it.”

She stepped closer and grabbed my hand. “I’m more worried about whatyouneed. Raising a baby is difficult, especially on your own. Remember, you’ve got me and the rest of the gang to help.”

For some reason, my eyes prickled. “Damn hormones,” I said, wiping a tear off my cheek. “I’m fine.”

That was a lie. I wasn’t fine.

“I’ll be fine,” I amended. I needed a plan to get through the next six months. And then the next eighteen years after that. What if I sucked at it? What if the kid felt neglected because I wasn’t at every school pickup and practice like my mom was? “Or will I? Am I doing the right thing by keeping the baby?”

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” Savannah said. “But you said you were considering IVF. Why did you want to be a mother?”

“I guess…I guess it all happened when I was thinking about this legacy project. I’ve talked to a lot of brilliant women without kids, including Carly and Tessa. They all seem happy with their professional legacies. But I realized that this book isn’t the only thing I want to leave behind. I might not agree with her career decisions, but my mom was a great mother.Isa great mother. And when I thought about leaving this earth without raising a child, it seemed…unfulfilling.”

“Everyone wants something different out of life,” Savannah said. “I’m glad you’re being intentional about it.”

I flashed her a wry smile. “Getting knocked up while on deadline is probably the least intentional thing I’ve ever done.”

“You know what I mean. Regardless, we’re all here to support you in whatever way you need.”

The fact that my friend was standing here in my apartment on a Monday afternoon because she had a feeling I might need her was proof of that. “Thanks,” I said. “I’d love some help.”

She gathered me into a hug. “Great. Text me the details of your next doctor’s appointment, and I’ll go with you.” Savannah gave the best hugs. No wonder she was such a great mom. But when she stepped back, I noticed her smile wasn’t as bright as it usually was.

“Sit.” I led her to my couch and sprawled in the corner. “What’s going on with you?”

She eased onto the other end of the couch, straightened her tunic over her leggings, then tucked her blond hair back behind her ears.

“I…I found out Jason’s cheating on me.” She sniffed.

“Oh my god!” I scooted closer to her. “Are you okay?”

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