Page 25 of Books and Hookups

“Weren’t you PMSing the last time I saw you?” she asked. “And that was, like, three weeks ago.”

“It couldn’t have been more than…” No, she was right. They’d just printed the story about the migrants, and I’d written at least three pieces since then.

“You haven’t had your period since then?”

“I’ve always been irregular.” I looked at her face, hoping she’d tell me it was fine, and I’d believe it. But deep inside, I knew it wasn’t fine. I’d experienced this once before. But I was no terrified college student this time. This time, I could take care of myself. And maybe someone else.

“And there’s a… um, reason you might be missing your period?”

I closed my eyes.Goddamn broken condom.I nodded.

“Is there a drugstore nearby?” she asked. “I’ll stay on while you take the test.”

“Really?” I swallowed. “You don’t mind?”

“No, sweetie. You shouldn’t be alone for this.”

“I—okay.” Ahead on the left was the drugstore where I’d planned to get Plan B weeks ago before the big story had distracted me. “Hang tight. We’re going in.”

I marched through the automatic door and found the “Family Planning” aisle. There was nothing planned about this. Ironically, the pregnancy test kits were next to the display of condoms, including a box of the kind that had turned out to be faulty, beside the Plan B I should’ve bought weeks ago.

“What kind should I get?” I whispered into the phone. “The early result kind?”

“Oh, sugar, it’s not early anymore. You can get the regular one. Get the one with two tests because, if I know you, you’re going to want to double-check it.”

“A broken prophylactic got me into this,” I muttered. “Damn right I’m going to verify the results.” I bypassed the box with two tests and picked up three single tests from three different brands and marched to the check-out.

Chin high, I glared at the woman who took my card, but she didn’t bother looking up as she silently completed the transaction. I shoved the tests into my satchel and strode out.

“Are you going home to do it?” Savannah asked.

“No, I’ve got to go to work. There’s a family-style restroom on the ground floor.” It took only a few minutes to walk to the newspaper building and get through the security turnstile. I practically ran to the single-user restroom and flipped the lock.

I turned off my video and set my phone on the counter, then ripped into the first test. I read the instructions out loud. Same with the second and third tests. They were all pretty similar. Pee on the plastic stick and wait.

My fingers trembled as I ripped the tests from their wrappers and lined them up on the counter. “Okay,” I said. “I’m going to do the tests now. Plug your ears if you don’t want to hear me pee.”

“Let ’er rip,” Savannah said.

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the toilet. I’d had a lot of coffee, and it was no problem to take all three tests in succession. I arranged them on a paper towel on the counter.

After washing my hands, I turned my video on. “Now what?”

“You read the instructions. Wait three minutes. Set a timer.”

I did. Then I grimaced. “What I really mean is…now what?”

“Oh, sugar.” Her lips turned down, and her voice dripped with wisteria and sympathy. “Have you thought about whether you want to…keep it?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d be in this position, you know? I…I’d thought about IVF after my last birthday, but I never did anything but the initial consultation. I’m thirty-fucking-nine. I’ll befortyin August. I thought I’d missed my chance.”

Savannah growled. “I wish I could come there and give you a hug.”

“It’s okay.” I leaned against the tile wall. “It means a lot that you’re talking me through this.”

“You didn’t tell us about the IVF. Does that mean you want a child?”

“I…I don’t know. I don’t know how it’d fit into my life.” Mario popped into my brain. He’d freak out when he remembered I wasn’t actually one of the guys. He’d hate having to cover my maternity leave. And my book! How would I finish it with a baby?

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