Page 92 of Sunflower

And then I had to mentally smack my brain, because he wasfifteen years old. Sure, I was only three years older than him, but that age difference could have been as high as Mount Everest for all the good it did me. He was a minor and would remain a minor in the eyes of the law until he turned eighteen.

Could Ireallytrust myself to be around him over the next three years and not act on what I felt?

I honestly didn’t know, and thatterrifiedme.

I’d fled from the table as soon as I possibly could and prayed to the old gods that Joey would never know how deep the hurt that I saw in his eyes devastated me. If my vision was to be believed, we would have plenty of time to grow closer, for him to forgive me for what I was putting him through now.

But I couldn’t stay.

As soon as I got back to my room, I paced back and forth until I nearly wore a hole in the carpet, tossing up numerous pros and cons between me staying like I desperately wanted to and leaving like I knew I needed to.

Eventually, I came to the realization that the longer I stayed, the more risk there was to me doing something I shouldn’t, so I began packing my bag.

By the time eleven-thirty had rolled around, I’d finished stuffing my duffel bag, leaving the room exactly as I’d found it. I stood in the doorway, broken-hearted at my decision to leave like this, but I couldn’t trust myself.

Looking down at the leather jacket I’d put on, a wave of grief overcame me. Joey and I had barely said two words to eachother, but leaving him with nothing felt so utterlywrongthat something in my body rebelled violently at the idea. Without consciously thinking about it, I took my jacket off and draped it over the back of the lone chair in the room before I startled when realization dawned on me.Thiswas how Joey got my jacket; why he wore it in my vision. Knowing that he would take good care of it, I let my hand linger on the soft leather of the collar for a moment, letting it know that I’d see it again someday, before sniffing deeply, turning around to pick up my duffel and walking out the door.

I stopped outside Joey’s room to debate whether it was too risky for me to poke my head into the room to look at him one last time before I left. A loud snuffling snore echoed from the other side of the room enough to make me chuckle but also realize that if he was sleeping that deeply, he’d never know if I peeked in.

So, I opened the door.

Lying on his back, he was sprawled on his bed, sleep rumpled and adorable. He’d obviously fallen asleep watching TV, as the only light in the room came from the set sitting on the dresser opposite his bed, the sound turned down low enough that I’d not heard it through the closed door, especially from under the noise of his snoring.

I felt myself drawn closer to him, creeping two steps into the room before I’d even realized. I took a deep breath and immediately regretted it when his concentrated scent filled my lungs.

If anyone was to ask me later why I did what I did next, I’d tell them I was drunk off his scent. There was honestly no reason in the world why I thought approaching him while he was asleep, leaning down to kiss him in the middle of his forehead to whisper, “Goodbye,mo lus na gréine. Until we meet again.” was a good idea.

But that’s what I did, and I regretted it almost immediately when he snuffled in his sleep, moaned softly, then murmured, “Callum…” all with a soft smile on his face.

After I’d frozen in fear that he was waking up, only to have him roll over so his back was to me and start snoring again, I bolted as quietly as I could, grabbing my bag as I went.

Before I left the house, I spoke to Mam and Barry. Mam was shocked when I told her I’d seen something in both Joey’s and my future. She’d pressed me to elaborate on what I’d seen, but I couldn’t tell her.

Not everything, at least.

I gave her a portion of what I’d seen, enough to ensure that she would let me go. Enough to keep Barry on my side and not have him end up hating me for what was to come.

It was a tough conversation, but it had to be done. For everyone’s sakes and sanities.

But I did it.

And then, with tears streaming down my face, I walked away.

The only thing that got me through those dark few hours was the thought that the future owed me for the heartache of today. All I had to be was patient and let it happen.

Now, here I was, wandering the New York streets looking for a tiny jewelry store so I could purchase something that I’d seen in a vision of the future, trying very hard not to knock into any other pedestrians while I was swept up in my thoughts and memories of both the past and the future.

I was jolted out of my reverie when my phone started buzzing with an incoming call. I glanced at the screen and let out an amused sigh. Of course he’d call.

“Hello, George.”

“Hey, buddy,” came the gruff but warm voice of my mam’s oldest friend. “I gather you’re going through some things.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” I dodged another pedestrian, but at least I didn’t touch this one. “Did Mam call you? Or should I ask how much you saw?”

“Naw, she doesn’t know I’m calling.” I heard rustling on his end, like he was settling in for a long chat. “I saw enough to know that you’ve had your first vision.”

Pausing in the street to the annoyance of the people around me, I looked up, closed my eyes, and sighed deeply in resignation. “Yeah.”

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