Page 35 of The Misfit Mage and His Devilish Desires

“It wasn’t a mistake.” I locked eyes with him so he’d truly listen. “Nothing here that happens will be unintentional. The theme picked carries a message. These demons picked to tend to our needs are the best of the best. They wouldn’t make a mistake in a million years and probably lived that long at Lilith’s side tending to her needs.”

Wally swallowed, losing confidence in whatever retort he’d had bubbling in his thoughts. “So, you’re saying the accident was on purpose so they could see how I’d react?”

“Did you not listen to a single warning I gave you?” I cocked my head. “This is Hell. Lilith’s Hell. A Hell where everything you do is observed, studied, scrutinized, and evaluated.”

Wally’s face turned pensive.

“But don’t get a woody over it,” I continued. “These aren’t musings like your artifact studies. Lilith’s goal is to determine your power. Right now, she can’t quantify your strength. The reaction for any demon to acquire a devil essence varies dramatically and is rare enough. But to find another being, a non-Diabolic, to possess a piece of the most powerful devil in the universe? That fear she holds is the only thing affording us privacy right now.”

I didn’t say it, didn’t tell him how Lilith herself had watched since we arrived, but I could feel her looming above us, intangible and merely goosebumps in my paranoia. All the same,even without being able to detect her, I sensed her through the sheer horror-struck awe I held for devils.

“It’s my goal to make sure Lilith realizes Walter Alden isn’t a gnat on steroids,” I said. “I want her to see you as the potential nuke that could eradicate anyone who poked too hard.”

“You think I can pull that off?”

“Wally, I’ve seen you slaughter when pushed. Stop empathizing with demons. They’d gut you the first opportunity to lay at Lilith’s feet in the muck of fallen foes.”

“Yes, yes, yes, I know. Very dramatic.” He nodded reluctantly. “One misstep could be our deaths. You’re in charge.”

“Thank you,” I said. “But remember, as far as they’re concerned, you’re in charge. I’m just an eager pleaser jumping to defend my devil.”

“Yes.” Wally sighed.

“It’s important that you remember, you can’t tolerate any slight.”

“So all devils strike down for the tiniest flaws?”

“Any devil who wishes to keep themselves and their demons out of Oblivion does.”

“Well, I don’t have demons.” Wally pouted.

“You have me.”

His pouty lips fell into a frown. “Sorry. I know I need to follow your lead. I know I need to just be a dick to everyone. This shouldn’t be so hard.”

I smirked. “There’s a joke there.”

“As an Alden, this whole entitlement thing should come easier to me.”

“If you’re having trouble coming, I can help.” My grin widened, hoping to elevate the tension with terribly dirty puns, which worked when Wally finally broke into a smile. We might be risking our lives, our very existence, but I didn’t want him to panic the entire time. We could die at Lilith’s whim any secondfor something we did or didn’t do or a billion other factors that suited her mood, so I needed to hold onto any brief moments of happiness here in Hell I had with Wally.

He stood tall, squaring his shoulders. “I’m going to make a solid effort to be imposing moving forward.”

“Just don’t be complacent or tolerant or kind or considerate or nice...” I rocked my head from side to side. “If you find yourself wanting to Walter the situation, do the opposite.”

“Don’t turn me into a verb.”

“Why not?” I shrugged. “I turned you into a devil.”

He huffed. The cutest, breathy little exaggeration. Now, if I could get him to add a scowl with that attitude, we might be able to trick a few demons into thinking Wally was a threat.

“Just ignore any instinct that seems rational,” I said. “Impulse is honestly your friend.”

“You would think being all-powerful beings would afford devils a bit of resistance in their moods.”

“When has anyone with absolute power proven to be anything other than absolute trash?”

And with a glum tsk, Wally concurred, and we took our leave from the bathhouse. Orias left a trail of glitter meant to guide us to our first destination on this trek through Hell for the Devil’s Banquet.

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