Page 27 of The Misfit Mage and His Devilish Desires

“But he is dressed.” I pointed, once I’d processed my observations, to the tunic pulled tight across the demon’s core with frilly ruffles for the eight giant tentacle limbs. At least I hoped those were limbs. “When you say he’s not dressed, do you mean he’s exposing a certain appendage—appendages—of himself?”

“What?” Bez scrunched his face. “No, you pervert! I thought he might possess a host. Something out of respect for you.”

“How would possessing someone show me respect?”

Bez rolled his eyes and went back to studying this grand arena we’d arrived in. While he might’ve played it casual, I could see all the mental notes he took, the calculations he made, the concerns he held back because Bez always preferred to shield me from worries.

“It is an honor to meet the esteemed Walter Alden, Devil and Mage of Misfit Hybridization.”

My chest warmed. That was quite the title. It made me sound special.

The emerald iris of his eye moved every time he spoke, similar to a heart monitor.

“I am your host, Orias.” He extended all his tentacles and nodded his bulbous head almost in a bizarre curtsy.

Unsure how to respond, I went to bow back until Bez flicked me with his tail.

“Devils don’t submit,” he whispered. “If you wish to accept his greeting, then merely allowing him to live is all the consideration you need to offer.”

That seemed cold.

“Can I ask what’s with the set up?” I asked. “Lilith seems to have an interest in the Roman Empire.”

“As your host, the design of the banquet fell to me, so I thought you’d enjoy a mortal theme.”

“This is a mortal theme?”

“Oh, yes.” His iris wriggled alongside the excitement of his voice. “We are on top of all the current trends in mortality, having a panel of esteemed experts who recently toured your realm.”

“Time moves differently in Hell,” Bez explained. “Chances are a handful of demons dropped in a few thousand years ago and recently reported their findings. Hell doesn’t change the way mortal trends do.”

“I did peek at the current realm of mortals,” Orias added. “A brief visit, and it seems more or less the same.”

“The world appears the same as when the Roman Empire reigned?” I asked, blinking at the perplexed expression I felt growing on my face.

“A few distinct differences, certainly, but nothing too extreme based on my research.” Orias’ iris expanded so big the pupil filled his entire lime green eyeball, then tightened into a thin, shaky strand. “Is it not to your liking?”

“Oh no.” I waved my hands back and forth, gesturing for Orias to relax. “I think it looks—”

“Acceptable,” Bez interjected. “Walter will tolerate this blatant albeit cheap imitation of our realm.”

“It’s very homey.” I nodded assuredly. “I mean, I wasn’t even sure if I’d left home or arrived in Hell. Practically identical.”

“Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely.” Orias’ eye wriggled as he clapped his eight tentacles together. The spiked suckers clicked and clacked against each other, creating an almost rhythmic tap dance beat. “If there are any changes you require, I will see to it immediately!”

He waved a tentacle, casting a gust with a sparkling black and green hue. It shook the ground beside us, carving open the earth and summoning walls that formed into a large room. With a click of his spikes, Orias created marble portraits and pillars to support the structure, making a modest temple.

“In theme with the festivities leading up to the banquet, I’ve collected every piece of knowledge possible for a proper human spa day treatment in accordance with a young emperor, which I hope is a close mortal equivalent to your stature.”

“You think being a devil is like being an emperor?” I asked, holding my expression in a tight smile because I could feel my whole face ready to fall into this bewildered, dumbfounded confusion. “You think I’m like an emperor?”

I might’ve squeaked a bit at the end of my question, but I remained mostly composed.

“Hardly,” Bez hissed. “But I suppose you would see the grandeur, Walter.”

“Walter?” And then it dawned on me he properly addressed me the same way Orias had. No Wally here. Only the great Walter Alden, devil hybrid guy of unquantifiable ability that needed to be measured at a party with an ancient Rome theme since Lilith hadn’t allowed any of her demons proper pilgrimage to the mortal realm in several thousand years.

Geez. This was already too much for me to keep up with.

---