Page 16 of The Misfit Mage and His Devilish Desires

“It’s nothing. I mean, it’s something. Big. Not outrageously big.”

“I didn’t ask for your measurements, Wally.”

My face turned hot, and I let out a flustered tsk. “Not what I mean. I just mean it was a big choice.”

“Oh, I know.” Kell smirked. “From what Mora’s said, she spent the better part of two centuries trying to coax Bez into bending over. Guessing you’re gonna have your work cut out for you if you’re trying to switch things up.”

“What? No.” Suddenly, the room was sweltering. Usually, when the conversation of sex came up, it involved Kell sharing her many exploits with Mora and occasional adventures with a third partner, or fourth, or fifth, or that time she talkedabout the Mythic orgy she hosted that somehow resulted in The Collective setting their apartment on fire. Or maybe that was the ifrit rolling in her bed. More often than not, I tuned Kell out when she talked about sex since her conquests ended up quite descriptive.

“Lemme get this right… You were trying to convince Bez to bottom when the demon attacked.”

“Not exactly.” I shuffled a few trinkets displayed on the front counter around, not really liking the placement of anything since picking everything up. “We’d already…yeah. The attack came after.”

“Ooooooh, so you’ve worked up this whole ‘pining for top’ thing in your head?”

“No, it was a mutual thing. Like a moment.”

“Uh-huh.” Kell eyed me, judgment in her gaze. “That boy is a toxic top.”

“Well, he seemed amiable.”

“Ugh. Does Bez like this clinical dirty talk?” Kell shook her head. “It does nothing for me.”

I huffed. “I’m not trying to fuck you.”

“Fair. And honestly, total respect for the conquest.” Kell winked. “Thick tops like Bez need to be bottomed out and railed. Why else would the universe gift those boys with such glorious butts?”

I chuckled. “I think that’s mostly his host bodies.”

“That he chooses. Plus, I’ve seen him undressed, and lemme tell you—those human guys he slips into don’t do that devilish demon half as much justice.”

Kell had a point. Bez picked his host bodies. Plus, they shifted based on the composite, taking on his features as best a human body could, dependent on the demon inside.

“You’ve seen Bez in his demon form?” I asked, having only seen snippets of his true form in memories he’d shared with me.

“Briefly,” Kell clarified. “Usually jumping from one body to another. You know demons don’t like going undressed.”

Their essence reacted differently to our world; they couldn’t feel anything without possession. In their true form, they moved like ghosts, able to interact but numb to every experience.

“As much fun as distracting small talk on the ass to be or not to be banged”—Kell conjured the illusion of a skull in her hand through sorcery—“there’s still a serious question looming in the air.”

“How much lube to use?” I jested, feeding off Kell’s playful banter because she was the most casually comical person I knew in the world. Well, besides Bez. But Kell wasn’t nearly as murderous.

“Funny.” Kell tossed the illusion behind her head, and the skull banged against the wall and hit the floor with a heavy crunch of a thud.

“Wait, was that a real skull?” So much for an illusion. She must’ve used some type of transmutation or teleportation or something wicked. “Whose skull was that?”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s theater.” She shrugged. “What matters is what you plan on doing. Are you attending a Devil’s Banquet in your honor, or are we watching this world go up in flames before dodging an offended devil?”

“We?”

“Mora filled me in, and I’m definitely not hanging around for global eradication.” Kell playfully clapped her hands. “I’ll stick around long enough to watch the prettiest explosions, make a few smores, and then I’m outta here.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about the world,” I said. “I mean, technically, you should be. There’s tons of catastrophic things constantly ticking by on a natural or human-made clock, but as far as vengeful devils, that was never an option.”

“Not even for a second?” Kell cocked her head knowingly.

Sure, for a second. A minute. For a few lingering moments, I considered whether I wanted to roll the dice on my chances of stepping into Hell versus abandoning the world.

---