Page 37 of Zero Happily Ever Afters

“Oh, good.” Caleb sighed with relief.

“It’ll just be all the second-year students, their homeroom teachers, admin, and, of course, the attending guild witches.”

Caleb’s entire mind went blank. If it were possible, I thought his head might explode. He simply sat silently.

“And a panel of your peers will be deciding your score.” Third-year students who got roped into as part of their internship duties, which meant they’d be extra harsh on those presenting because no one liked to be voluntold for a task.

“Why didn’t we prepare for this sooner?” Caleb asked, a mix of anxious anger and some judgment he hurled toward me.

I scowled. I ensured my students had every opportunity to work on the necessary skills they’d need to be successful, finding ways to tie nearly every assignment to a real-world expectation. “Why do you think we have biweekly presentations in here?”

“Because bi pride is the best pride.” Gael nodded approvingly as his rooster crowed.

“What?” I quirked a brow. “No. That has nothing to do with…anything.”

“Wow. Biphobic much?” He leaned over to King Clucks. “I swear, the gays really are the worst about it.”

“Excuse me?” I cocked my head. “I’m not… No. You…”

King Clucks twisted his head in the same swift motion of surprise as me, red comb jiggling and a fierce squint in his gaze. And I swore, for half a second—even knowing it was entirely impossible—I heard that damn bird’s thoughts snap back at my comment with, “Did he stutter?”

“So judgy. Such a shame.” Gael shook his head disapprovingly and ready to drag out this tedious argument for the rest of class.

I took a deep breath because this wasn’t an argument. It was a ploy. A tactic. A game meant to kill time. Ignoring the prepped comments skirting around Gael’s surface thoughts, I continued preparing my homeroom coven. He had no reason to fuel a classroom debate aside from the fact that he was bored. Far too many times had I found myself dragged into a heated discussion with Gael about utter nonsense only to find out he never really cared about said topic to begin with and merely craved the attention. Gael Rios-Vega was a true agent of chaos and mischief.

“I need you all to focus because I’d like to get through a few of these mock interviews today.”

“More like mockery,” Jennifer thought, adjusting her septum piercing.

“Oooooh.” Gael performed a drumroll on his desk. “I’ll go first. I can handle any interview anytime anyway anywhere anyhow.”

“Sure. Why not?” I shrugged, believing maybe once the reality of how difficult it was to handle serious topics, he’d simmer down some.

“And I know everyone’s curious, but please don’t ask how big my cock is.” Gael raised a hand over his face as if his rooster couldn’t see or hear his still-loud hushed voice. “King Clucks is carrying a bit of holiday weight.”

While his familiar flapped in protest and pecked Gael, I sighed, realizing I’d never shake a little fear into him no matter how serious I told him this was. And then suddenly, an idea hit.

“Since this is a practice,” I said. “Peer interviewers would be most appropriate.”

“Huh?”“Seriously?”“He’s just lazy.”

“Might as well make us grade each other with gold stars, too.”

“Yes. It’ll allow each of you to get into the mindset of what the interview process is like from both sides,” I continued, ignoring their irritating thoughts because inspiration had struck in the form of another annoyed mind sitting nearby.

With a touch of telekinesis, I distributed the flashcards I’d made a wide selection of questions from and dropped them onto everyone’s desks. “You can use these as prompts for your interviews, but you’re more than welcome to ask any questions you deem appropriate.”

As students flipped through the flashcards, I wrote down interviewer and interviewee pairings off the cuff doing my best to keep it fair since this was completely improvised and honestly, I’d only been thinking about the person who’d interview Gael.

“Jennifer, you’ll be interviewing Gael.”

She glared. “You realize fuckboy energy is incredibly wearing on the psyche, right?”

I nodded as if I weren’t linked to Jennifer’s mind. “Oh, I realize. I also want you to know you have complete permission to emotionally eviscerate him.”

“Really?” Jennifer tilted her head, summoning empathic energy that coiled around the classroom.

“I can think of no one better to give him a little reality check on the difficulty of coasting in the guild industry.”

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