Page 28 of Zero Happily Ever Afters

Once the moment passed, the somber silence for a few seconds, Chanelle reeled the students forward with a bright smile and enthusiastic tone. “In order to be a top-ranked enchanter someday, you have to prove proficiency over your root magics, your branch magic, your teammates’ magics, and the world of magic around you!”

“Christ, that’s wordy as fuck,” I thought, linking my mind instinctually, almost as if my telepathy sought the familiarity of someone, anyone since Milo had left the city.

“Oh, shut up, Dorian. You’re just pissy that I have you on proctoring detail.” Chanelle strutted across the stage, gesturing to me and the other poor bastards she’d wrangledinto proctoring today’s ceremony. “Please make sure everyone’s Cast-8-Watch is properly synced.”

I made my way through my homeroom coven, double-checking their tech. Afterward, I made my way to the marble pillars Chanelle had the academy bring in for this showing. I wasn’t sure why she demanded that proctors take their place atop the pillars during the competition, but I wagered it was for some outlandishly theatric reason. Everything Chanelle did was to ensure the audience remained mesmerized and lost in the performance.

“Today’s game is a lot like Will-o’-the-Wisp tag,” Chanelle said, which was met with a lot of groans of complaint.

Will-o’-the-Wisp tag was a simple game. Students chased wisps, and for each one they banished, they earned a single point. It was as elementary as it got. Hell, it was basically how I started day one with my homeroom coven, but I never treated it like a game.

Nothing about tag screamed proficiency. Nothing about wisps said these students were exceptionally talented. And absolutely nothing about Chanelle’s game sounded like a fun thing. This was a childish waste of time; the thought soared collectively from hundreds of minds while Kenzo naturally led the pack declaring his utter contempt for Gemini Academy and their bullshit waste of time tactics.

I half-laughed to myself, quelling the minds of angry teens as Chanelle continued. I was careful not to silence their thoughts as I wanted to hear the revelation when she finished the directions and announced the biggest twist that’d leave them scrambling.

“But banishing a few wisps is only gonna demonstrate so much capability,” Chanelle said. “We here at Gemini want to ensure that our students are prepared for threats from every direction, which is why every coven will stand on their own. Your survival in today’s game depends on your coven mates, yoursuccess depends on your casting proficiency, and your likelihood will be determined by your rankings.”

Chanelle shot a fist into the air, gesturing with all the obnoxious theatricality she could muster for the technicians to display the latest updates to the student rankings.

Most of my homeroom coven was fine, seeing their ranking hadn’t changed like Kenzo and Katherine, who continued to place in the top ten. Some were pleasantly surprised to see their ranking had even improved slightly, such as the Gaels, who each showed growth in grades and casting, which paid off in the subtle bump. A few were disappointed, however, like poor Caleb, whose ranking had gone down.

I buried my guilt for withholding that information from him. Academy policy dictated that they should all be informed at the same time about their final set of rankings and when better to present that information than right before a competition that determined their future. Ugh. I hated it even if I agreed. Learning to digest difficult information and pivot was a necessary ability for any witch who wanted to work in the industry.

Caleb sank into his disappointment, wondering where he went wrong last semester and how he could prove he would do better this semester. He hadn’t gone wrong anywhere, but unfortunately, I couldn’t explain that to him. Not right now anyway.

“Now that you all see where you stand among the ranks,” Chanelle said with a strut in her step. “It’s time to explain the rules of this game.”

A lot of students listened closely, attentively, even if they’d already formed theories on the obvious objective. After all, how complicated could Gemini Academy make a game of Will-o’-the-Wisp tag? The thin grin on my face grew because these poor bastards had absolutely no clue how sadistic and maniacal theirkind, bubbly Mrs. Whitehurst could be. Even I didn’t know the full extent of what she had in store, as she kept it guarded from all except for the admin team—mainly because they had to approve her ridiculous budget.

“Everyone will begin with a different number of points,” Chanelle explained. “Your ranking will determine how many points you start off with.”

I scoffed. Of course the academy would give an edge to those with higher rankings, allowing them an advantage over their peers. I mean, continuous hard work did deserve a reward, but this match gave them one opportunity to stand out to the scouts in attendance.

“Your beginning score will match your current ranking.”

Well, fuck.

That meant the student ranked very last had already started the game with 599 points, and the student ranked number one had only one point to his name. I expected fury to boom from the crowd of teens, but a furious delight blossomed. Kenzo eyed his peers, calculating which weaklings would be worth eviscerating first. It wasn’t merely about taking down the competition to improve his score in the game, but he wanted the weak witches who’d demonstrate his capability in combat. He knew in order to win, he’d have to raise his score quickly, his covens too, but he also had to keep an eye on those already hundreds of points ahead of him if he wanted to ensure they didn’t win today’s little game. Damn. Even now, Kenzo took into consideration who would help him shine the brightest in front of the scout audience.

“But a simple game of tag for points doesn’t demonstrate how perfectly proficient this class of students truly is.” Chanelle continued her strut, joining Headmaster Dower, who’d walked up to the stage. “I asked myself, how can I make this the most fun and engaging demonstration to date? Will-o’-the-Wisp tag isa blast, but then I think about the games I loved most as a kid: it was The Floor is Lava.”

What?

I shook away the shock of everyone else as best I could. And suddenly, the pillars Chanelle demanded her proctors to stand atop made total sense.

Headmaster Dower took a deep, dragon-like breath. Her chest swelled three times the normal size, her veins glowed a golden red, and she spit literal lava from her mouth, spewing it across the entire auxiliary gym floor.

Everyone screamed and shouted and levitated as quickly as possible to avoid the deathly burn of the headmaster’s primal magic.

“She could’ve killed us!”“It’s everywhere.”

“Hot damn. No, that wasn’t a pun, King Clucks!”

“What would she have done if someone didn’t levitate in time?”

“Ugh, falling into the lava is a whole ass mood right now.”

“Worst. Teacher. Ever.”“Why is Mrs. Whitehurst like this?”

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