Page 5 of The Sins of Silas

“I will always love you.” My trembling hand lowered to hold what remained of hers as I whispered, “I will find you in the afterlife, Lena. I promise.”

Mother had taught me of the Gods, insisting I know all I could about them. At the feel of my lover's corpse, I didn’t know if I believed in such a fantasy anymore. Still, I found myself silently praying to Ravaiana, the Goddess of Life.

Please provide Lena peace. Please tell her how much I love her. Tell her how special she is. How…

I choked on a sob again as there was another knock on the door, more urgent this time.

“Just a second!” I rasped, then resumed my prayer.

Tell her that I will find out who did this to her and that I won’t rest until there is justice. I know nothing of the afterlife, nothing about prayers…but please, if you haven’t already, provide her safe passage into Elysium. Tell her I will be with her again…and that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I didn’t know if I deserved to go to Elysium…to heaven. I had already killed four men, evil as they were. I had killed Amatta, too.But the entire universe would have to conspire against me if there was a sliver of a chance for my soul to find hers again.

“I will find you,” I murmured to her. “I will find you, Flower. I will find you.”

One last kiss, and I rose, wiping my eyes and catching my breath.

I just needed to last until I was in my room. Then I could let go.

I retrieved my lamp, then clutched the knob and turned, making sure to avoid eye contact with anyone and everyone. I ignored their expressions of concern, making my way to mount Sable and head home.

I waited for the men to conclude their search, and while I did, I went over the past couple of days, analyzing every little thing.

Lena didn’t have many belongings to warrant a theft so extreme. Aside from a few gowns, the necklace and ring were probably all they had of value.

Witches. It had to be witches.

They saw what we did—what I did to Amatta. They must’ve had a spy watching me, saw how much Lena meant to me, and killed her to make things even.

I grasped the reins in anguish. She should’ve never come to my room.

This is all my fault.

I could see now that they targeted Lena as an act of revenge, but why Mother? What was their play?

And what were they planning next?

I took in the weather, the bright blue sky, the shining sun. How could the day be so beautiful? How could the world go on like it was nothing when she had suffered so? How was the universe itself not in mourning?

The sky should be grey, rain pouring, thundering cracking as if the Gods themselves were weeping over such a loss.

I barely managed to make it back to the castle in one piece, rushing to my bedroom the second I dismounted Sable. I was silent for a moment when I shut the door behind me. Frozen.

Lena is dead.

Lena is dead.

Lena is dead.

I made it only a few steps before I collapsed to my knees, clutching my chest.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn’t think.

All I could see was her burned, stiff body. All I could smell was the smoke. All I could hear was Amatta’s scream, imagining that Lena’s cries sounded the same as her life was taken away by flame.

I finally let go completely, wailing into my hands.

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