Page 8 of The Sins of Silas

“That necklace will give you the answers you need…everything…everything will make sense.”

“How would a necklace provide answers?” I questioned skeptically. I felt panic rising within me at her silence. “Kayin, you’re scaring me…” I breathed. “Are you in danger?”

“I will talk to you again in time,”she claimed.“Get to Nereida. You will find answers.”

I halted my pacing.

“Wait! Do you know where Torrin is?” I blurted out, hope and dread blooming in my chest at the possibility of answers. “He left last year without a word, though apparently Igon is the one who sent him away.”

There was a delay.“You’ll cross paths with Torrin again soon.”She was quiet for a beat longer beforeshe whispered,“I am so sorry for what happened to you, Lena.”

As quickly as Kayin’s voice filled my head, she was gone—nothing audible but the hushed nighttime breeze on this mountaintop.

Kayin…why now after all this time? And how the hell was she speaking to me from all the way in Otacia?

I pinched the bridge of my nose, loosening an aggravated breath.

Igon had refused to offer up much information about her. He had just sworn she was as trustworthy a Mage as they come, and as a seer, keeping her identity unknown was imperative. There was so much I needed to ask her about, and yet, try as I might to communicate, the connection had just…vanished.

And she must’ve seen what happened to me…with Rurik…

I clutched my chest as I attempted to calm my breathing, the wind doing little to relieve the sweat now dripping from my forehead.

Do not think about it. Do not think about it.

I took a few shaky breaths, willing my tears to stay put. I didn’t wish to think of it, certainly not right now when so many were counting on me. I didn’t want to be reminded of what those monsters put me through. Reminded of the utter helplessness I felt.

I am alive.

They are gone.

They aren’t here.

I am safe.

I couldn’t think about it, not now. I needed to focus on saving my people; my trauma could be dealt with later.

They are gone.

They aren’t here.

I am safe.

I spent a few minutes collecting myself, rubbing my arms in a comforting motion. I used that time to shove my emotions—my memories—into a bottle.

I am safe.

I am safe.

I am safe.

Once I felt composed enough, I slowly started back for camp, feeling even more exhausted after that altercation.

Then, like always, my mind drifted to Silas.

“I cannot bear your kindness. Do not give it to me.”

What, did he wish for me to be a raging bitch to him? Did he truly desire hostility? Or perhaps indifference?

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