Page 37 of The Sins of Silas

“And what if you were wrong? What if he had never come around? What if he still saw our kind as monsters? Would you have killed him if it would have saved our people?”

I stilled, looking down at the ground in consideration before meeting Merrick’s now dark eyes once more. “I don’t see how killing him would save our people.”

“But if—”

“No,” I said sternly, and he flinched. “No, I wouldn’t have. Just as he would never have killed me.”

He studied me for a moment, then sighed. “It makes so much sense why I felt what I did from him,” he mumbled.

I blinked. “What?”

His eyes flashed with hurt. “After you were attacked, Elowen insisted I see his intentions before she would heal you. She didn’t want to heal you if he intended on breaking you over and over for answers. She wouldn’t have put you through it.” His jaw ticked. “I felt emotions from him I was not expecting. Sorrow, worry, guilt—” He let out a painful exhale. “So much guilt. But there was one I was surprised to feel. Didn’t understand. I thought maybe he was trying to think of something else.”

“What was it?” I asked, pulling my knees close.

He smiled softly. “Love.”

My eyes enlarged, and I blinked over and over. Merrick just let out a small laugh. “Don’t act surprised. You just said he wouldn’t have been able to kill you. There’s a reason for that.”

I chewed on my lip. “It’s…complicated.”

“So, was Quill a made-up name?”

I smiled at the question, feeling a miniature sense of relief being able to talk about my past freely. “Yes, and no. When I first met him, he told me it was Quill. I had no idea he was the Prince for the first few months of our relationship. Until I was already in love with him.”

He paused. “Did Torrin know?”

“Yes…he knows everything.”

Merrick dragged his teeth over his lip ring, shaking his head. After a beat, he said, “He got up almost instantly to come to you…Silas.”

My heart sped up. “Just now?”

Merrick nodded. “Roland, too, actually. Silas looked like he was gonna rip off his head. But I just…I had to know.” He placed his hand on mine. “I promise I won’t tell.”

“I know. I trust you.”

His dark eyes faded back to blue. “I’m going to head back now since I know he wants to speak to you. Unless you don’t want that?”

I sighed, my eyes skimming the stars that peeked through the trees. “I’ll head back in a few.”

He squeezed my hand, then stood, the sound of his steps fading away.

And as I lowered my gaze and observed the river, watching as the moonlight bounced off the ripples, I remembered.

Remembered the night I lost my child.

Remembered the night I got my fire.

Chapter Eleven

LENA - FIVE YEARS AGO

No…please no…

I sat on the floor in Torrin’s room, weeping as I clutched my stomach in agony.

I noticed blood in my underwear when I woke in the middle of the night and immediately went to Torrin, who, in a panic, went to locate Elowen. I didn’t wish to involve her…involveanyone, but Elowen was the best healer in Ames. I hated putting this pressure on a fourteen-year-old girl.

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