Page 275 of The Sins of Silas

“I liked you just as you were,” she said quietly. “I didn’t like how closed off you were…didn’t like how cold you could be. But I loved you, regardless. You saved me from my family. I’ll always be grateful for that.” Her hand slipped away. “I …I just need time—time to adjust to all of this.”

“I understand,” I whispered.

She winced, rubbing at her temples. “I'd like to be alone now if you don't mind.”

I nodded, then stood to give her the space she needed.

My friends—because yes, I considered them all my friends—stared at me, at Lena, with mixed faces when I returned. Era wasn’t present; she still wished to remain alone until we were leaving.

I settled my gaze on my men. “I’m sorry I lied to you all.”

Edmund shook his head, eyes wide. “Don’t be, man. I mean, it makes sense.” His eyes went to Lena. “It makes sense why you had a change of heart.”

“No wonder you wanted to kick my ass all the time,” Roland teased, a half-smile pulling on his face.

For the first time in years, I smiled back at him. His own dropped in shock as he looked at me.

I needed to apologize to him, not just for the treatment recently, but for years of resentment.

I glanced at Hendry, who also wore a happy expression. “I’m happy to see the old you peering through.” I could swear I saw a gleam in his eyes. “I missed him.”

I sucked in my lips because damn him for making me feel emotional. I glanced back at Roland.

“Can I talk to you?”

He blinked. “Yeah. Of course.”

I turned to Lena, brushing my hand down her arm. “Wait to discuss our plans moving forward until I return.”

She nodded, her smile encouraging and her eyes gentle.

Roland’s hands went inside his pockets, his legs nervously bouncing as he sat beside me on a bench outside of the temple. The warm, summertime air blew past us, ruffling his brown hair.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

His brows drew together. “For what? I understand why you've been mad. I was intimate with the love of you—”

“For how I treated you…after,” I interrupted.

His eyebrows raised, and he offered me a shy smile. “It’s okay, Silas.”

“No.” I shook my head, turning to face him. “It’s really not.”

I hesitated, but then I told him everything. I told him about my mixed feelings from back then.

I told him of the many beatings.

And then…I told him of the rape.

“My Gods…” Roland breathed after I had finished my story, his eyes overflowing with tears. “I had no idea.”

“Regardless of what happened to me, you were my friend. You were there when I needed someone. I never thanked you for it. You didn't deserve my cruelty.”

His cheeks flushed, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “You weren't cruel to me.” The corner of his lip turned up. “You were an ass.”

A small smile formed on my face, but it quickly fell. “Why did you stay by my side?” I asked, my eyes searching his. “After all I didto you?”

He shrugged. “I just figured you were going through an identity crisis of some sort. I wasn’t going to hold it against you.”

---