Page 247 of The Sins of Silas

I dragged my bottom lip through my teeth, eyes falling down to finish unbuttoning the shirt. With a deep breath, I shrugged it off.

Lena’s eyes trailed down my body, and her tear-filled eyes met mine. “I am so proud of you.”

My lip wobbled, and my own tears threatened to release. “I’ll just need a minute,” I whispered.

She nodded, stepped forward, and hugged me, her soft hands still foreign against my bare skin. I was still unused to someone’s touch there but having her in my arms felt so good.

I held her, stroking her own skin, before giving the top of her head a kiss. “I’ll be okay,” I said quietly, more to myself than her.

“I know you will be.” She pulled back, eyes sparkling, and turned, leaving me alone in the room.

My anxiety was at an all-time high. Here I was about to reveal my greatest weakness, my greatest shame, to everyone I’ve hidden it from.

I stepped out onto the beach, my feet sinking into the smooth sand, and I felt pain in my throat the second the sun warmed me, the moment the pleasant breeze brushed against my bare skin.

Everyone was already playing in the ocean. Elowen was on Edmund’s shoulders, and Roland was attempting to splash her as Edmund splashed him back. Merrick and Era were talking off to the side, floating in the water, and Viola was sauntering along the coast with Dani.

Lena was with Torrin, sitting on the sand, lost in conversation.

Hendry met my eyes first, only steps to my right, a drink in hand. I watched as his widened regard traveled down my back, then back up to my face.

His eyes softened, and he gestured to his cocktail. “Drink?” he asked with a smile.

I gave a small smile back. “Please.”

Hendry angled his head at the bartender running the drink stand, ordering another one of the fruity cocktails. As I waited, my eyes caught Era’s. The whites of her eyes were completely visible. She'd never seen me topless in our entire marriage. Quickly, she exited the water, making her way to me.

I took a nervous breath, taking the drink Hendry handed me. “I’m always here for you,” he said softly. “If you ever need to talk about it.”

I swallowed the unpleasant lump rising in my throat. “I know you are.”

He departed just as Era ran up to me. “Silas…” she breathed, tears filling her brown eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said quietly. “I just want to pretend it’s not there, okay?”

A look of understanding shone in her features. “Of course. Of course.” She smiled. “Let’s swim?”

I studied my wife’s eyes and found myself smiling back as she held my hand.

As we took step after step toward the water, I glanced to my left. Lena’s eyes flicked to my and Era’s joined hands, and I hated the flash of hurt I saw. But when she lifted her eyes back to mine, the tears that were present were not sadness…but delight. She beamed at me.

Her love was always better than mine, because despite her discomfort seeing me beside another, she was happy for me.

I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and run into the ocean with her. I wanted to kiss her until our lips were swollen and make love to her on the beach, not caring who saw. I think Torrin reiterated the sentiment as his widened eyes returned to her as he spoke, her cheeks heating.

As I focused my attention back on the sea, my eyes met Roland’s, whose expression was utterly solemn.

I needed to talk with him…but I wasn’t ready yet.

We'd spent hours in the water, and I'd never felt so free in my entire existence. The water and sun against my naked skin was a sensation that healed my inner wounds…if only just a fraction.

As time passed, I forgot that my back was in the state that it was. My confidence slowly returned, showcasing the ways my body was defined. The Sea Nymphs had kept a tasteful distance, but toward the end of our fun, they swam closer. A few of the females smiled at me, blush staining their uniquely colored skin as I overheard them whispering to one another,“He's so pretty!”

Most women admired my face, but I was sure that those who would see me topless would find me repulsive.

My eyes trailed back to the love of my life, swimming alongside Elowen and Dani in the waves. It wouldn't matter to me if the world saw me as the ugliest, most pathetic man. Her love and admiration were all I needed, all I wanted.

Era had been beaming the entire time, but I could feel her eyes shifting to the Empath every so often. He kept away, but his eyes would linger on her, too.

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