Page 243 of The Sins of Silas

I motioned for him to sit beside the bath. He hesitated but removed his boots, rolled up his pant legs, and sat, dipping his calves into the water.

“Well?” he asked.

I took a long breath, smiling to myself. “When I met Quill, back when I was sixteen, I was immediately affected by him. There was this…bond between us. It superseded attraction, though we were surely attracted to one another. I know it now as the Soul-Tie bond.” My eyes flitted to Roland, who continued to study me with a hardened jaw.

“Quill lived in the Inner Ring. Well, that is where I met him one morning. Long story short, he'd witnessed a lousy attempt at me defending myself. He agreed to train me once a week after that.” I drifted my hands over the bubbles in the water. “It was a few months of that, meeting once a week, falling for one another. But he was so secretive. There was much about him I didn't know.”

My eyes roamed up to Roland's, whosestare was growing more confused.

“We had lost our virginities to one another one evening in my home. But after, I was tired of his secrecy. I followed him home the following week, hiding myself with an invisibility elixir. He took a strange path, one that passed beside the castle.”

Roland's eyes began to widen.

“I was caught—by Torrin, of all people—for sneaking into the Center. When I was presented to the Queen the following day, beside her was Quill. Beside her…was Silas.”

Roland blinked rapidly. “You and him…you knew each other?”

I nodded. “I've been in love with him all these years. I faked my death when the kill order was in place, never having told him what I really was. It changed him.”

I could tell Roland's mind was reeling. “That's why he saved you…why he joined your cause. Why, after so many years of hatred of your kind, he seemingly flipped a switch.”

“I'm sorry for withholding that information,” I spoke honestly. “But we both didn't want our people to think we were joining forces simply because we were in love when we were younger, even though it was a major part.”

He took a handful of minutes to process. “Gods, no wonder he's been extra sick of me.” He winced. “My flirting with you must've driven him crazy.”

“It has been strange between us since reuniting. I have a history with Torrin and obviously have had fun with you. And then there's the fact he is married.”

“When did you two…start up again?”

“We had a moment when I returned from the mountain,” I admitted, eyes glued to the water. “But it wasn't until we were in the cabin—the Valleyof Awakening—that we fully admitted our feelings and worked through everything. Well…worked through most things.”

My eyes slowly rose to his at his silence.

“Do you think I'm a bad person?” I asked quietly.

He shook his head. “No, Lena. I think this situation is messy as fuck.” He paused. “I think Silas should leave his wife, though I have believed him unhappy with her since the start.” He smiled weakly. “I suppose now I know why.”

A pang of guilt washed over me. I knew his and Silas's secret, though it was not my place to say what I learned. Maybe all this time, Roland believed Silas to have feelings for him.

Roland's head fell. “I should get back.”

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “I really wanted to move on from him…but I couldn't.”

Roland angled his head up, then motioned with his finger for me to come over. I swam forward, stopping once I was between his legs.

He lifted his hand, stroking my cheek with a half-smile. “So much makes sense now,” he murmured, then his bottom lip protruded. “Damn…the last time really was our last, wasn't it?”

I bit my lip, then splashed him lightly with water. He chuckled.

I was still attracted to him. But I had no desire for anyone but Silas.

“Afraid so.”

“Boo.” He sighed, his hand falling back, the corners of his lips rising. “I'm happy for you guys…happy you've found each other again.” His smile faltered. “What about Era?”

My shoulders drooped. “There is a lot to be worked out regarding that. We agreed we wouldn't be intimate with anyone else while we figure things out. I…I shouldn't have kissed him.” I raked my wet hands down my face.

“You two haven't hooked up since?”

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