Page 215 of The Sins of Silas

“I can’t.” She pointed to Merrick, cringing as she did so. “The spellcaster must be the one to reverse the spell.”

Merrick lifted his shoulders, raising his nose to meet my glare. “I won’t do it.”

I slowly angled my body toward him. “I will knock your fucking teeth out,” I seethed.

Ice surrounded Merrick’s fingertips as he replied, “I’m not scared of you.”

Torrin gripped his shoulder. “Let’s all calm the fuck down.” His dark-brown eyes locked on mine. “No one’s teeth are getting knocked out.”

My fists shook at my sides. “So, what, she’ll go the rest of her life not remembering what she and I had?”

Merrick's eyes remained dark as he eyed me. “If it makes her happy, why are you so against it?”

“Because it’s not fair! It’s not fair that after all I’ve suffered, all I have endured, she gets to just forget it all!”

The room was silent for a moment. “You could forget, too,” Torrin said quietly.

I laughed incredulously. “Oh, I’m sure you’d just love that, wouldn't you, Torrin? Considering you stole her away and proceeded to fuck her.”

Merrick’s eyes enlarged, darting over to his cousin’s. “What?”

Torrin clenched his jaw. “It wasn’t like that,” he bit out.

“Is he telling the truth, Merrick?” I asked, my eyes not leaving Torrin’s.

Merrick’s silence was answer enough.

“You can say you wished for her safety. Say it was some unknown seer that forced you to take her away. But you wanted her, didn’t you? Even back then.” This damn conversation was going so far off-topic, but I couldn't reel in my resentments.

“I’ve always known she was yours,” he said quietly. “Which is why Iagreethat Merrick should give her back her memories. But if he refuses, perhaps that burden could be taken from you as well. Perhaps we should all wipe the slate clean.”

“No,” Dani shook her head. “This is not why Leroy gave overPotestas Verae Maleficis. Hiding from your emotions, from reality, is not a fix.”

I shot her a harsh glare. “Where were these beliefs of yours a few nights ago?”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, then shrugged in defeat. “I fucked up, okay? I just wanted to help.”

I scoffed, my focus sliding to the Empath. There was no kindness in my tone as I said, “You will undo the spell one way or another, Merrick.”

Ice crawled up his hands. “If you really do love her, Prince, allow her some peace. Even if only for a short while.”

I had stormed out right after hearing Merrick's stupid advice.

Allow her some peace.

I laughed to myself as I thought about how ridiculous that request was. Was I allowed peace when I believed she'd burned to death? Was I granted peace when my…when…

I quickly shook my head, covering my eyes.

Don't think about it.

I couldn't sleep, so I snuck away from Era's side later that evening. Now, I found myself perched on one of the many balconies this temple sported, this one a few levels down.

I clutched Saoirse's kitten doll, running my fingertip along one of the loosened beads that made up the cat's eyes. Her death wasn't an act. There was no chance I'd run into her five years from now, discovering she had somehow survived.

I couldn't stop seeing her face…the hope that lay behind those big, blue eyes. She had really believed I was saving her.

I thought of all the Mage children kept in the castle, locked away, being raised for slaughter.