Page 199 of The Sins of Silas

“I'm sorry.” I winced. “I'm finding it difficult to keep my hands away from you.”

Her eyes dropped to my lips, then back. Again and again, her mind battled between right and wrong. Want and need. Loyalty and infidelity.

“I've never felt so strongly for someone, never have feltwantquite like this before,” I admitted breathlessly. I wanted to kiss her again, but I left that decision up to her.

Her right hand slid out of my hair, gently cupping my cheek as she gazed up at me. “What do you feel when you read me?”

I had been reading her this entire time. “Desire. Fear. Guilt.”

She wet her lips, her thumb now tracing over my lip ring. “That's all?”

I knew what other emotion she was asking about, but I didn't wantto acknowledge it.

Her voice was small as she asked, “Do you feel it for me?”

Yes, of course I do!

I wanted to scream it, shout it to everyone I knew. But that emotion…

“It frightens me,” I answered honestly.

Her eyes welled with tears, and she nodded slowly. “Me too,” she said quietly. “Mostly because…because…”

Guilt hit her so hard that I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight. She broke down into my chest, desire fading as the other emotions took precedence.

“Don't cry,” I whispered, my own lip wobbling from her emotions overtaking mine. “I'm sorry…I don't wish to hurt you.”

She cried harder, fisting my robe's fabric into her hands.

“I'm…I'm so confused,” she sobbed loudly.

“Hey.” I pulled back, holding her crumpling face in my hands. Tears streamed down my cheeks—tears from her emotions, not my own. “Don't blame yourself. It's my fault. I came here. I initiated.”

She went to shake her head, looking away, but I dragged her focus back to me.

“Era—”

“I shouldn't feel this way,” she whispered. “I'm married. I-I shouldn't…I can't…”

Anger washed over me, knowing she felt this guilt when her husband desired another, a desire that surpassed what she felt for me.

“Who says you shouldn't?” I challenged. “You married him without even knowing him. Is it such a surprise it isn't working out?”

Sheswallowed, and her offense took me aback. She hauled her hands away, crossing her arms. “Get out.”

I sighed, pulling back and rubbing my forehead. “Era—”

“I said get out!” she yelled, hurrying away from the door. “I-I don't want this. I don't wantyou.”

I swallowed, my heart shattering as I turned to her. My eyes skated between hers, waiting for her to change her mind, but she didn't.

I laughed humorlessly through my nose, then stormed out, despite knowing those last words were a lie.

I stomped back into my room just as Viola was exiting the shower, her braids up and in a bun on top of her head, a towel secured around her torso. “Everything okay?” she asked, noticing my irate demeanor.

I sighed, flinging my robe off, my pants and boots the only thing underneath.

Gods, I was frustrated.

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