Page 174 of The Sins of Silas

Have you done that before?

“Never.”He grinned.“I blame the alcohol and your naughty thoughts for corrupting me.”

“We all almost died today. I think it’s fine we live a little.” Roland yawned, sitting up in the bed before fetching his pants, stumbling a little.

I giggled. “You’re shit-faced,” I noted.

He threw me a lopsided grin over his shoulder as he slid his pants on. “And you’re not? Hm?”

I bit my lip, and he shook his head as he laughed softly.

“Well, I’m off to bed. Does Elowen make any hangover remedies? I think we’ll need them come morning.”

Torrin ran his hand through his short hair. “I hope so. I have a feeling you’re right. My head is spinning.”

Roland chuckled. “Goodnight, you two.” He gave me a wink, then slipped out of the door, leaving just Torrin and me.

Suddenly, my nerves started to build. Thankfully, when I peered at Torrin, he offered me a kiss on the shoulder. Then, on the cheek.

But then he paused, and I could tell his posture stiffened. He took a shaky breath.

“This can’t happen again. Sex between us.”

My brows drew together, my arms instinctively covering my chest. “I don't understand…why? Did you not like it?”

“I did like it. But the problem is I like it too much. I likeyoutoo much. And I know, despite how much wild fun this was, that it is Silas you love.”

I went to protest, but he laughed through his nose.

“I know you love me, too. But it’ll always be him.”

I opened my mouth and shut it a few times, unsure of how to answer. “I just fucked the two of you, and you’re bringing up Silas?”

Torrin’s saddened eyes crushed me. “I can’t be like Roland, hooking up with no strings attached. No feelings. I care too much about you.” He stood from the bed, fetching loungewear from the dresser and slipping them up until they rested along his narrow hips.

“You won’t leave again, will you?” I asked quietly, dread overcoming me. “I can’t lose you again.”

He paused before me, running his hand through my messy hair. “No, Lena. I will stay. I promise.”

My eyes fell, and I nodded. Then, I stood, slipping back on my underwear, then bra, then outfit. Buttoning my pants proved difficult, and I realized just how tipsy I really was.

I was hurt he didn't wish to sleep beside one another, but I also understood.

Before I exited the room, I hugged him tightly, resting my cheek along his bare chest. “I'm so happy you're okay. I'm so grateful you're here.”

“I still can't believe I'm free.” He pulled away, eyes shining with unreleased tears. “I will always be in debt to you for that.”

My hand slid down to his, holding the one with the burn scars. I ran my thumb along the imperfect skin. “I am the one in debt to you.”

I wanted to kiss him, but I refrained, letting my arm fall before slipping out of his room.

As I was walking toward my room, the hallway spinning, my drunken thoughts plagued me.

I had sex with Roland and Torrin. At the same time. Together.

Roland sucked Torrin’s dick. I sucked itwithhim.

I rubbed my collarbones. It was fun. Really fun. But I couldn’t help but notice the emptiness I felt now.