Page 139 of The Sins of Silas

“It was easier to explain it that way without outing my secret.” I sighed, tilting my head to look at him, noting his bloody knuckles. I wished I could heal them. “I’ve lied about so much, and for that, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Silas was quiet for a moment. “It appears he cares for you…that’s good.” He inhaled, then exhaled. “I have always believed Faltrun should remain independent,” he continued, changingthe subject. “But I had no idea their leader was doing this…enslaving so many.” He shook his head and sighed, resting his head against the stone wall as well. “Tovagoth isn’t short on shitty men ruling its territories, though I suppose I’m not better,” he mumbled, then ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck me.”

“You aremuchbetter. We are all so grateful for your help. I hope you know that.” I studied his handsome profile, and a small smile crept on my face. “And there’s no privacy here, but since you asked nicely…”

He quickly leaned his head toward me, eyebrows raised, his mouth hanging open. “What did you say?”

I tried and failed at holding in my laughter. I snorted. “Sorry, I was just teasing.” Damn, Roland really must be rubbing off on me. Then again, attempting to make light out of hard situations wasn’t completely off-brand for me. I feared concentrating on how perilous the morning would be would send me into a full-blown panic attack.

He blinked, over and over, until the corners of his mouth began to rise. “You’re awfully bold, Flower.”

Flower.

My smile slipped, my eyes dilating. Silas’s smirk only grew. “Ah, but I still am able to unnerve you and have the upper hand,” he whispered, his eyes falling to my lips.

His golden eyes flicked up to mine. In this lighting, they seemed to glow against his tan skin.

Silas confused me. One minute, he would be looking at me with heat in his honey gaze, offering timid smiles and calming me when I was in my own head. Then, the next, he would be cold. Callous. Distant. His constant shifts in mood gave mewhiplash…though I supposed I could be the same way myself. I certainly was in my younger days.

There were times he looked at me, and I could swear I saw hatred. Resentment. And in using my nickname, I truly couldn't decipher the meaning.

“Do you use that name with malice?” I asked quietly.

His smile vanished, his brows furrowing.

My voice shook, just above a whisper, as I pressed, “Do you use it to punish me?”

His frown deepened as he stared at me, chest rising and falling, unsure of what to say.

My eyes flitted away as I stood, ultimately walking away, leaving him to sit alone.

Perhaps he didn't know, either.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

SILAS

“Do you use it to punish me?”

What the hell did she mean by that?

I was still sitting alone nearly an hour later, lost in my own thoughts and not desiring communication with anyone. Era kept shooting me a look of concern, but I would just shake my head at her. She knew I sometimes needed alone time. I appreciated that about her.

Lena was back by Roland’s side, and the sight infuriated me, though I knew I had no right.

I thought she was being flirty with me. I must’ve misread the scenario, or perhaps my own skills were lacking. I had lost my smoothness after I lost her.

Women had always desired me with little effort. Between my looks and title, I didn’t have to flirt or woo any of them. A half-smile and some sex eyes were all it took to get them naked in my bed.

Era was different. Our relationship started out of mutual benefit. At twenty-two, my father demanded I be married. I had put it off as long as I could, fighting tooth and nail against the idea.

The only woman I ever dreamed of marrying was Lena.

Erabella Dreason wasn't supposed to be at the ball last year. Her family detested her and treated her like nothing more than dirt under a rug. She had snuck into her family's carriage, as her younger sister was the one they wished to present to me.

Meeting her in the corridor she was hiding in, speaking of both of our resentments for our parents, I knew that she was the most genuine and unpretentious person in the castle that evening. I'd already had sexual relations with most of the princesses who had been attending at that point, having seen them at the consecutive one that was thrown every six months. None of them stood out to me. They were nothing but a quick and meaningless fuck.

But with Era, it was different.

---