Page 130 of The Sins of Silas

As I heard his heartbeat thundering in his chest, I whispered, “I love you, Torrin.”

His body went still, and as he went to turn on his side, I leaned off his chest and turned on mine.

His brown eyes traveled between my green ones. “I loveyou, Lena.” The corner of his lip turned up ever so slightly as he tucked my hair behind my ear, using the hand I had burned. “I think you have known that, though.”

I chewed on my bottom lip, raising my hand to brush it alongside his cheek. “I need to move on. I know that.”

Torrin’s smile slowly faded. “It’ll always be him, Lena.”

I froze, then dragged my hand down the side of his neck, his breathing hitching. “It’s been four years, Torrin. He’s married.”

“And if he wasn’t?” he questioned. “If he showed up in Ames wishing to be with you again, can you honestly say you’d choose me?”

I hesitated.

Damn me for hesitating.

Torrin’s face fell, and as he turned to rest on his back, he dragged his hand along his face.

“I-I just need some time, and—”

“That’s bullshit, and we both know it,” he snapped.

My lip wobbled, and his brown gaze drifted to me. It killed me to see the hurt behind them.

“I know you can’t help how you feel. I'm not angry with you,” he said gently. “But it doesn’t change how much it hurts.”

I sat up on my elbow, feeling entirely comfortable with Torrin seeing my bare chest. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I love you, Torrin,” I insisted. “I haven’t been able to even look at another, except for you. I…I always looked at you.”

Once upon a time, I had felt guilty for my attraction to him. But even that first moment when he held my arms, arresting me in Otacia, I believed him to be handsome.

Gods, he was handsome…and sovery kind.

His eyes flared, his chest rising and falling. His hand reached up to curl a strand of my hair around his finger, his gaze running along the rest of my copper waves. “I’ve always looked at you, too.”

“If I had the power, I would make you my Soul-Tie. I would,” my voice cracked, and Torrin’s surprised eyes found mine. “I’ve always felt so comfortable with you. You have been there through everything. You’ve saved me from every obstacle, saved me from myself.” I held his face again. “I can’t imagine my life without you, Torrin.”

His lip wobbled, and he pulled me close, kissing me sweetly.

“I can’t imagine life without you, either,” he whispered over my lips. "I wish I was your Soul-Tie, too."

After an evening of slow kissing, we finally slid on our wet clothes, only to sneak up to his bedroom, remove them, and make love again. And again.

I remembered his heartbeat lulling me to sleep as I lay on his chest. I remembered his scent. Cedar and rain.

And I remembered waking to find myself alone in his bed.

Waking to find he had left Ames without a word.

Chapter Thirty-Five

LENA- NOW

Ichoked on a sob as I ran to him. So quickly were our arms wrapped around each other, our knees sinking to the concrete ground.

We held each other tightly as if one of us would slip away if we so much as loosened our grip.

“Torrin,” I cried into his chest, squeezing him close.

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