Page 111 of The Sins of Silas

I clutched my chest, about to break into a million pieces. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't. Not when it came tomy mother.

I rushed out of the tent, running my hand through my hair. This was fucking torturous, seeing my sister in such agony.

I was grateful Vi took the responsibility of working on her and even more grateful for the soundproofing spell. I could no longer hear her excruciating screams, nor could any potential enemies.

I craved a drink, a smoke—something to take this edge off. I debated rolling up and smoking some of the dagga I had purchased in Forsmont. Elowen hated that I smoked sometimes, so I decided against it. Decided that it wasn't fair for me to feel any amount of bliss when my sister was suffering. I leaned against the fabric of the tent.

Edmund stumbled out a few moments later, aggressively rubbing at his forehead. Being in there was hard for us all. Seeing someone you care for tortured in such a way and being unable to do anything to stop it…it was horrendous.

The sky was darkening, hardly any light from the sun left. Any moment, and the stars would be glittering in the sky.

Edmund stood beside me, resting his head against the thick material. I was too exhausted to bother telling him to bug off.

“I want you to know that I truly care for Elowen,” he said quietly. “I know you don’t like me very much. I know you despise my presence. But…I love her.”

I inhaled the summer air slowly, turning my head to him beside me.

“I love her,” he repeated, emerald eyes shining. “I am not some playboy. I have kept to myself my whole life, in the romantic sense.” His cheeks flushed. “I mean, she was my first kiss, for fuck’s sake.”

My jaw fell open at his candor. “Oh…”

I looked away, crossing my arms. I supposed that made me feel better.

“I'm an old-fashioned guy. I was raisedto court a woman. Get her family's blessing. Wait until marriage.”

My head slowly turned to his again.

“I'm really trying hard on that last one.”

“Ugh!” I grimaced. “I don't want any details.”

He laughed through his nose, running his carbonado hand through his golden hair. “I'm just saying I care for her. I respect her. And I know that your resentment toward me is because of your love for her. I'm glad for it. I'm glad you care.” He paused. “I know we aren't close, but I care and respect for you, too.”

My eyes instantly flicked to his, dark as they read him.

Truth.

I clenched my jaw, unsure of how to respond. Edmund continued talking.

“What did she mean by saying she killed your mother?”

I squeezed my hands, the feeling of my ice creeping up my veins.

I didn't want to talk about it, but I chose to give him the short answer. “Elowen is the love child of Vicsin and her mother Heildee. A product of their secret affair.”

Edmund's face paled, his artificial arm crossing over his real one. “Your father cheated on your mother.”

“That’s correct.” I rested my head back on the tent where, inside, my sister was undoubtedly wailing in agony. “Only when Heildee gave birth did he leave my mother. Before that, he had lied. He secretly was seeing Heildee for months, pretending to be a good husband to my mother, even though he had grown cold, closed off from her.”

I chewed on my lip ring, shaking my head. “My mother was a bright light, and my father's betrayal didn't just dim her. Heextinguished her. She killed herself a few years after.” I tilted my eyes to Edmund, who wore an expression of tenderness and dismay. “Elowen didn't kill my mother. My father is responsible for that.”

I pushed off from my spot, deciding I was my father's son after all. A shit person. I went to smoke the dagga after all.

I plopped myself against the large carousel twenty minutes later, taking a breather and enjoying the herb's ability to spread warmth through my body. I held the joint in my fingers, staring up at the moon looming in the sky.

Elowen used to think it was made of cheese as a child. It was crescent-shaped this evening, but staring at it, I chuckled to myself. It really could pass as cheese.

I took in a third drag, the end glowing orange. I was blowing the smoke out through my lips when my eyes went to Era. She was sitting on the ground with her back against a large tree, her head resting in her hands as she watched me.

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