Page 62 of When We Were Younger

When I knock on the door, Dean answers.

"Hey man, Merry Christmas. Where's Dottie?"

"That's the million-dollar question. Is your sister around? I hate to bother her on Christmas but-"

Kira appears in the doorway, shrugging under her brother's arm and planting herself in front of me. She looks me up and down, and her face softens into something resembling pity. She sighs and rolls her eyes as she realizes why I'm standing here, alone on her parent's doorstep on Christmas morning.

"She fucking bolted, didn't she?"

I try to keep it together a little longer. I swear, I try. But I fail. My lip trembles, and the tears I've beenfighting back since I woke up alone to a cold bed hours ago start to spill.

"Stephen Christopher Hudson, if I let you into this house, if I sprinkle my brilliance upon you like I did all those years ago, are you going to listen to me? Or are you going to fuck it all up again? Because I gotta tell you, my dude, it's exhausting being the mastermind behind your love life when you don't follow my very simple instructions." She raises an eyebrow at me, and despite myself, I chuckle through my tears. Man, I fucking love Kira. I need to tell her that more often.

"I promise, Kira. I'm not going to be the one to screw it all up this time. I promise."

"Come on," Kira says, grabbing my hand and dragging me into the house. "You can do your crying inside, cowboy. I'll work on finding your girl so I can knock some sense into her pretty little head."

34

STEPHEN

Age Eighteen

There's no point to the last few weeks of senior year. The work is done. The caps and gowns are ordered. The diplomas are printed. We're all just here for show.

There's no point in any of it, not since Dorothea left.

Part of me thought I might see her this morning. That she'd show up in homeroom and laugh at her cruel prank. I'd be pissed, at first, but I wouldn't stay mad at her for long. Eventually, I'd laugh too and then I'd kiss her as our homeroom teacher, Mr. Harris, hollered at us to break it up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Then we'd go on with our lives.

It didn't happen. Of course it didn't. She's gone.

I have a free period this afternoon. Since I have no homework to do, no girlfriend to hang out with, and nowill to fucking live, I'm sitting in the back of the library with my feet propped up on a table while I pretend to be super interested in the latest John Green book. The quiet in here is welcoming, since it allows me to stew in my own misery.

"Stephen!" comes a shrill voice, followed by a chorus of shushing by the school librarian and the underclassmen cramming for their finals. I look over the top of the book and spot Kira standing with her arms crossed against her chest, looking ridiculous in a pink, flouncy top and a pair of long basketball shorts. She probably got dress coded and was told to put on her gym uniform bottoms, which is ridiculous. There's ten days left of school and it's a thousand degrees outside, let the girl wear what she wants.

There goes my welcoming silence.

"What do you want, Kira?" I bite out, then inwardly wince. I don't want to be rude to her. It's not her fault that love isn't real and my life is over.

"Stephen, she's-" I slam the book shut and planting my feet on the ground.

"Kira, with all due respect, I don't give a fuck about whatever you're about to say," I say. Kira, to her credit, doesn't cower. She never cowers. Girl is stone cold solid. Fearless as fuck. I wish I could be more like her. Maybe if I was, I wouldn't be a shell of a human right now.

"Look, I know you're all in your feels and you probably feel like your heart and your balls were blended up with some ice and a rotten banana, then forced downyour throat; that's the only reason I'm going to ignore your rudeness right now."

That is a colorful picture she paints. Colorful, painful, and accurate.

"Stephen, I just wanted to tell you that I know where Dottie is. I didn't get the whole story from her, she's not in a very talkative place, but she's at my dad's cabin."

I stare at her, waiting for her to continue. When she doesn't, I pick the book back up.

"Stephen!" she stomps her foot, gaining another round of shushing from the peanut gallery.

"What?" I whisper, not bothering to look up this time. Wrong move, because Kira takes the book out of my hands and whacks me over the head with it.

"Idiot. I just told you where your girlfriend is. She and her mom had a fight, and Dottie ran. She was pissed and scared and needed space. It's been two days, she's had her space. Get up and go get her!"

---