Page 46 of When We Were Younger

"We could turn around and go back to your place," I suggest, running a fingertip over his forearm. His thick, corded, veiny forearm that I would very much like pressed on my lower back while he fucks me from behind right now. There is something to be said for the dormant sex monster that lives within me.

Don't get me wrong, I've been plenty horny in my life, but I've only ever craved orgasms before. That sweet release that can be brought on by my own hand, a charged vibrator, or the overpriced shower head I had installed in my bathroom. Orgasms are easy. You want one? You get one. But now? It's not the orgasms I crave, though I'm certainly not complaining about them. It's Stephen.

It's his hands in my hair, the weight of him on top of me, his lips and the way he kisses me everywhere. It's the way he holds me while I sleep, his entire body wrapped around me, cradling me like I'm the most precious thing in the world. It's the way he wakes up earlier than me just to get me coffee and tickles my back while I drink it under his blankets.

It's like my heart is horny for him, not just my body.

"Or," he says as he pulls up in front of the house and throws the truck in park. "We can go inside, and you can dig into that apple cake on your lap." He gets out of the truck, and I wait patiently for him to round the front and unbuckle me.

"And then later, I'll kiss all the caramel off your lips before I dig intoyoulike an apple cake," he whispers against my ear as he reaches over and undoes myseatbelt. I hum my appreciation as he takes the cake and helps me down out of the truck. The front door swings open, and Keith is on us like green on grass. The dogs are at our feet, yipping and sniffing as we follow a chatty Keith inside.

"And wait until you see the charcuterie Dean put together. Seriously, I don't know where my kids got their talent from because it sure wasn't from me!"

"Oh honey, they might have gotten their talent and smarts from me, but their beauty is all you," Jay says as we enter the kitchen. He gives Keith a peck on the lips before hugging Stephen and I. Dean appears from behind and shoves a Cosmo into each of our hands. I spot Kira at the island and sit next to her while the guys chat by the bar.

"You've got that freshly-fucked look about you, you dirty girl. Your skin is gah-low-ing," she says a little too loudly. I shush her, and she snorts.

"What? Are you afraid my dads are going to find out that you're–gasp–sexually active? You do remember who gave you the ‘birds and the bees’ talk, don't you?"

"That doesn't mean I need you yelling about my freshly-fucked glow to them, babe," I mutter under my breath.

"Why not? They also taught us about the importance of regular orgasms as part of a healthy skincare routine," she shrugs as her dads, Dean, and Stephen round the island and start picking at the fruit plate laid out in the center of the island.

"Dottie, darling, you are glowing," Jay says with awink, and Kira throws her head back laughing as I feel my cheeks turn red. Dean pats Stephen on the back, and the bastard just waggles his eyebrows at me.

A little while later,we're all gathered by the fire, Cosmos in hand and an abandoned game ofRuPaul's Drag Race Monopolybetween us. Keith sits between Jay’s legs, resting his head back on his shoulder. Kira has her head in my lap, and I play with her hair while Stephen runs a hand up and down my shoulder. Dean went to bed an hour ago after nearly flipping his lid when Kira hit him with three 'Draw 4' cards in a row during Uno.

"Stephen, hon, how's your dad? It's been so long since we've seen him," Keith says. Stephen laughs as he takes a sip of his wine.

"Yeah, Dad is good. He's been around, he just sort of ducks and hides whenever he sees you around. A few months ago, he spent fifteen minutes hiding behind the watermelon stand at Share Shop while you guys picked out corn. I think he's still mortified about what happened at Kira's college graduation party."

Jay, Keith, and Kira all laugh, and I put on a smile even though I feel like a total outsider. Kira had begged me to come back for her graduation party, but I'd refused. Stephen looks over towards me, and as ifsensing my awkwardness, he gives my shoulder a reaffirming squeeze.

"Dad was bragging about his high school ball days. You remember his story about the game-winning touchdown he caught? The one where he conveniently leaves out the fact that it was the only touchdown he caught in four years as a tight end? Well Jay here offered to toss the old pigskin around, and Dad leapt on the opportunity despite being sorely out of shape and on his sixth Beer-mosa of the night. He went long, Jay tossed the ball, and it hit Dad square in the nose. I'm talking Marcia Brady style. He looked like he got punched in both eyes for days. It was hilarious."

I slap a hand over my mouth to cover my very unladylike laugh.

"Poor Mr. Hudson!" I cry.

"I felt awful!" Jay laughs. "You know that's why we had the back deck done the next summer? We didn't need an upgrade, but I still felt like I owed your old man something after scarring him like that."

"Eh, it was his own fault. He gets a little too high in the instep when he drinks. But we appreciate the work, either way." Stephen lifts his glass and Jay reaches over, meeting the glass with his own and cheers-ing.

"I can't believe he's still working," Keith says with a sigh. "If I had a son like you, I'd have retired a long, long time ago."

“Pops, you do have a son," Kira says, rolling her eyes.

"I know that. I said a sonlikeStephen. I love yourbrother, but he's too much like IronDad. Too busy throwing around his football and making millions of dollars to take over his old Pop's online yoga classes," Keith sighs.

"What about me? I'm literally a fitness instructor!" Kira squeals. Keith leans forward and pats her cheek.

"Oh honey, sweetie, darling, light of my life, you're far too loud and annoying for yoga. Know your strengths, stick to spin."

My heart warms in my chest. I adore this family so much. Even when they're teasing each other, love and adoration radiates off them in waves. I might not have a loving parent of my own, but I am one lucky girl to be welcomed into the McKenna family even for a moment. I've spent too much time cowering in fear and avoiding my own ghosts. I've taken a lot for granted. I decide right now that I will not go so long without coming to see Jay and Keith again.

"And what about you, Dottie Lynn? Are you itching to get back to Los Angeles? I love Fox Hole but it's impossible to find a good smoothie or green juice in this town. Naturally, my suggestions at the town meetings to open an Erewhon location on Main Street have fallen on deaf ears." Keith rolls his eyes, and I take a nice long sip of my Cabernet.

"Actually, I don't miss LA at all. Honestly, I think I'm kind of over the whole scene there," I say. It's the first time I've said that out loud, but damn, it feels good.

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