Page 34 of Make Me, Break Me

“Told you before now?” Dex rolled with me, pining me beneath him. “Told you that I looked you up two and a half yearsago, found out the man who stabbed the fuck out of you is in jail, that you got yourself fixed up—alone, because there’s no family for you to rely on—and that scared the shit out of you? Rightfully so.” He never looked away, never once flinched despite my heart hammering at his chest. “Did you think I wouldn’t get it that someone hurt you and that you didn’t want to talk about it, Zin? I knew there was something. I never wanted to push you. I just wanted to make sure you were safe.” He leaned down, and kissed me.

We both tasted my tears. My broken trust.

“You should have told me,” I whispered.

“To what end?” He shrugged. “If he got out before we got to this point, Falcon and I would have dealt with it. He’s not your problem anymore, Zin.”

I stared at him, the suffocating feeling descending on me in this same black painted room once again. If I hadn’t been lying down, I would have fallen. There was no denying what he meant.

“I can’t accept—” I choked.

His thumb grazed my temple. “You don’t have to,” he murmured. “I’ll look after you, Zin. I always have.”

I blinked at him, then shoved at his chest. “No.”

“No?” He crouched back on his haunches, an almost comical look on his face. “I give you unlimited orgasms, and you tell me no?”

“Orgasms are not bargaining chips,” I told him as I threw my clothes on, finding what I could from the night before. My thong was absent so I forewent that, and headed for his door.

“I mean, they could be.” He grabbed a pair of sweats and donned them in record time, then pulled me into his arms. “Slow down. Breakfast, remember? You're staying. We don’t run, not anymore.”

I bit my lip. “You said you look after me, right?”

“Yeah.” His gaze darkened, hooded and heavy as he cupped my cheek and leaned in to kiss me.

A good thing, because I didn’t have the energy or the volume to yell this next bit at him. “The fights with Beau?” He stopped. “The group session with Falcon and Nelson who just appeared in my class?”

Dex stilled, his lips a breath from mine, and said nothing.

Tears sheened my vision with a curtain of salt as I gently detached myself from his hold. “I might love you, and you might think you love me, Dex Breaker,” I whispered, “but we are toxic as all hell for each other. And nothing we do seems to be able to stop that.”

“Zin,” he growled, linking an arm around my waist to pull me in.

This time I was ready for him. I grabbed for the door handle to his room, pirouetting on trembling legs that thankfully worked on demand, and twisted in the other direction out of his hold.

“Bye, Dex,” I whispered, and shut the door between us.

“Zin?” Nelson sat at the kitchen table looking the worse for wear with an askew bow tie and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I’m leaving.” I walked across to him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head just as the door to Dex’s room opened.

Nelson stiffened. “She instigated the contact. I did not.”

“It’s fine.” Dex waved a hand. “Zin. Please?”

I shook my head, willing the tears to stay inside for just a little longer. “Not this time, Dex. It’s not for us.”

He nodded. “You want me to come find you later? Make sure you’re okay?”

My heart ached at the emotion thickening his voice. “No.”

Nelson grabbed my hand. “Whatever he did, he didn’t mean it.”

“You’re a sweetie. But you shouldn't have checked up on me.”

His face fell. “Oh.”

I nodded. “Oh.” My vision blurred again. “Bye, Nelson.”

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