Page 60 of Space for More

“It’s, I’m…” I don’t bother finishing the thought before I walk away, because tears well in my eyes and I don’t want to be the weirdo who started crying at a dinner party with people I just met.

Why did I think I knew Mezli enough to vouch for her? Sure, we’ve spent the past few days practically attached at the hip, but that doesn’t mean anything. She told me herself she worked hard tochange who she was. To be the carefree person who doesn’t think too hard about things like emotions. God, I’m a moron. Even worse, my naivety got Phelix hurt.

I step out into the hallway, releasing a shaky exhale as the door slides closed behind me. Phelix stands across the hall, back leaned against the wall and face resting in his upper hands. He looks up as he hears me approach, and the pure undisguised heartache in his eyes is staggering.

“I’m so sorry, Phelix. I thought…”

“Don’t apologize.” His voice is strained and I watch as he attempts to put his cool mask in place, and fails. “It was a foolish notion. A momentary weakness on my part to hope for something I don’t deserve.”

A tear spills down my cheek. “You deserve happiness, Phelix. You deserve…” Love? Respect? Everything? Me? I don’t get a chance to settle on what to say, interrupted as the door behind us slides open again and an agitated Mezli storms out.

“What the heck is going on with you two? Is everything okay? Why are you lurking out in the hall?”

Phelix lets out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t want to get in the way of your amazing friend Paul and his enormous cock.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She huffs in anger, blowing her bangs with the force of her exhale.

“It means he came here tonight because he wants to have something real, and you’ve spent half the meal talking about how incredible and well-hung Paul is. That’s shitty, Mezli. He doesn’t deserve that. I don’t… Ugh, nevermind!”

“You don’t what?” she snaps back, eyes wide.

“Idon’t deserve that. I spent this morning in your arms, and that apparently means nothing to you. I mean nothing to you.” Myface is hot from embarrassment and wet from my tears, and I wish I could just go home and get away from these feelings.

“Eden…”

I shake my head as she reaches out toward me. “Forget it. I don’t matter. I’m just a fool who couldn’t handle casual sex. It’s fine. What’snotfine is taking your chance at being with your mate and throwing that in the garbage.”

“You matter.” Phelix touches my arm, startling me out of my rage.

“Of course she fucking matters!” Mezli shouts. “You both do! I’m not interested in Paul. I was trying to set him up with Ulena. I didn’t know what I was saying would upset you.”

“Clearly,” says Phelix in an irritated drawl.

“Fuck you, Lord Nafar. You’re really so fragile that me talking about Paul’s cock had you running away?”

I open my mouth to defend him, but Phelix replies before I can. “Yes. I’m defenseless when it comes to you. You’ve held my heart in the palm of your hand from the moment I laid eyes on you, and you seem to delight in turning it to pulp in your careless grip. Of course I’m fragile. I’m a broken, bleeding, pathetic mess because of you.”

Mezli blinks back at him, speechless for the first time since I’ve met her. Silence stretches between the three of us, roiling with tension and heartache.

When she finally speaks, it startles me. “You’re a doctor, aren’t you Eden?”

“Uh, what?”

“A doctor. Phelix appears to be in need of medical attention. I’ve wounded him and I don’t know how to heal the damage.”

Phelix tightens his hands into fists and his sides, starting to shake. “I bare my feelings to you, and youmockme?”

“I’m not mocking you! Shit, I don’t know how to do this!” Mezliruns a hand through her hair, true vulnerability written across her face.

“Do what?” I ask.

“Make up for the pain I caused. Stop running from my feelings. You name it,” she says, gesturing out with her hands. “I don’t know how to do this, but I want to try.”

“Then quit making jokes and try!” I snap. “You have a mate! He’s standing right there, fighting all his experiences and trauma to be open to you. Do you know how many people would kill to have what you have? Most people will never find that kind of partner. I know I certainly won’t.” A tear rolls down my cheek as I bare my truth. “You’re stupid and selfish if you let that slip away,” I say bitterly, wiping at my eyes as more tears fall.

“You’re wrong, Eden,” Mezli says softly. “I meant it when I said youbothmatter. I want both of you so much it makes my insides burn.”

My heart flutters like a bird trapped in a cage, but logic forces me to clip its wings. “That’s not possible. You don’t want me like that. You can’t—you’re mates!”

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