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Goddess, I felt it too.

“Eden,” I say, cupping her chin and bringing her face so she meets my gaze. So she can see the sincerity of what I’m about to say. “Thereissomething between us. I felt it a year ago and I feel it again now. I’m sorry I ended our connection before. I was scared and things were still…complicated with Mezli. And now, they’re complicated for you, too.”

Confused emotion roils in my gut when I mention my mate, but I continue. “I know you care for Mezli and I don’t want to get in the way of that. Tonight was incredible. The best night of my life. I’m honored that you shared it with me. I won’t be foolish enough to hope for more.”

“Why is that foolish?” she asks, almost in a whisper.

My eyes widen. Surely, she’s not saying she wants more with me. Goddess, please let that be what she’s saying.

“Maybe I was meant to bring you and Mezli back together. Our bodies got carried away in the moment, but before that…you two fit so well together. If I could be the thread to mend the broken connection between you, it would bemyhonor.” Eden’s eyes shine with emotion.

My heart sinks with disappointment, her selflessness like cold water splashed in my face. Wanting Eden, asking her for more while I have a mate, would be beyond selfish.

I nod. “Perhaps you’re right. Though, I’m not sure how to make amends with Mezli, even with your help. She’s run away. Again.”

“I’ll talk to her. Don’t give up. You two were meant to be.” Eden smiles and pats my leg, but I don’t miss how she swipes at the moisture in her eyes. “Sorry, I’m just a bit overwhelmed after my first time and all. Wow, sex is wild! Thanks again for doing that. Doing me!” She snort-giggles, and I’m almost taken in by her adorable ruse, but recognize the shield of levity she’s putting up.

I wish she’d just tell me she wants Mezli for herself. She doesn’t have to sacrifice her happiness for me. I wouldn’t stand in her way. I’m entirely undeserving of either of them.

26

I’m not jealous. I’m not! Do I kind of want to stab Phelix in the seam right now? Sure, but there’s nothing new about that. Did it make me feel like I was going to cry when he was able to knot Eden? No!

I’m not going to cry.

Why would I care that when I opened my heart up to the possibility of giving my mating with Phelix another chance, he proved that our supposedly divine connection isn’t anything special? Is only being able to knot your mate made-up propaganda to make mate bonds seem more special? Iseverythingabouthaving a mate a lie?

I grab a pillow from the sofa and use it to smother the sound as I yell into it.

They’re still up there, stuck together and enjoying the euphoria of multiple orgasms. I can hear them whimper and sigh as they take their pleasure from each other. Pleasure that should be mine! I should be the one making adorable Eden come again and again. I should be the one locked on to my mate. I should…wow, I should calm the fuck down.

Easier said than done. These goddess-forsaken mating hormones are making me crazy. I don’t want to be livid, but something inside me broke when I came on Phelix’s face. Instead of calming me down, it made me even more feral for him. On top of that, wires in my mind must’ve gotten crossed because I’m just as possessive about Eden, even though I have no claim on her.

I take five deep breaths, using the pillow mashed against my face to help ground me in reality. I don’t have time to give a shit about the pair upstairs. I need to focus on the plan. The decryption key was waiting outside Eden’s door when I got to her room earlier. When we ran into Phelix, we agreed that I’d snoop around his place, find the datapads, and use it while she was occupying his attention. This is the perfect opportunity. He’s literally stuck up there with her.

I let myself get distracted when Eden asked me to join them—thoughts of what it would be like to show her pleasure and to explore my connection with Phelix fogging my head. But now things are much clearer. I’m here to get the info the agents need and stick it to the pompous motherfucker currently trapped by the dick inside my human crush.

The need to scream rises again, so I toss the pillow back on the couch and set to work before I let it overwhelm me. I take a swig from the open wine bottle, not that it’ll help calm me. After thatdisastrous night out before my mating and the worst hangover in my life, I’ve never been drunk again. As soon as I made enough credits from my job at CiaXera, I splurged on an implant that neutralizes toxins when they enter your system—including alcohol.

Now I drink because it sets others at ease, thinking that my inhibitions are dulled. It excuses my expressiveness and openness, and helps me be the life of the party while I’m still in control of myself. Some might say that’s manipulative of me, but I don’t care. It lets me have fun without the risk of actually letting my guard down. Letting my guard down is when I get hurt. Dammit, I shouldn’t have let them in.

Focus. None of that matters. I locate the satchel of datapads Phelix left in the hall closet and ease the door open, keeping an ear out for any movement from the bedroom. When I’m confident he’s still very much caught up with Eden, I pull out the decryption key from my purse and click it in place on one of the datapads. The screen lights up and a stream of code flashes as the datapad unlocks and its contents are downloaded onto my comm using some high-tech link the agents set up. If I’d been skeptical of their methods before, I’m not now.

I go through each datapad as quickly as possible, listening as the gasps and sighs from above fade and shift to murmured conversation. A petty part of me is pissed they didn’t immediately come seek me out as soon as they separated, but I’m sure Eden is just stalling him. She wouldn’t think I’m actually upset by what happened. This plan was my idea, after all.

I’m on the last datapad when I hear movement above. I yank the decryption key out and hope we got enough for what the agents need, then shove the datapad back in the satchel and stick it back in the closet, closing the door just in time to see Eden coming down the stairs, followed by Phelix. Both looking thoroughly fucked.

A sharp stab of pain and longing strike my chest as they exchange a small smile.

It doesn’t matter. You don’t need them in your life. She’s leaving in a few days and he’s a potential criminal. She’s just here to have fun, and he thinks you’re a drunken slut. It doesn’t matter.

“All finished?” I ask, putting on my best carefree grin as I saunter over to Eden and give her a once over. She’s still flushed from the sex, but her eyes look a little puffy. Was she crying? Oh goddess, I left her up there, literally stuck with Lord Fuckwad, even though she trusted me to make sure her first time went well. I’m an ass. “You all good?” I add, with a frown as I reach out to take her hand.

The instant our skin touches, the seething anger inside me turns to white noise, and I forget why I was upset. Touching her is like a balm to my frayed senses. The way her smile brightens makes me hope I’m the same for her.

“I’m great.” She takes Phelix’s hand with her free one and squeezes it too. Rather than feel annoyed, my sense of calm and connection grows. “Thank you both for such a wonderful evening. Truly, I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing first time.”

The tenderness I feel toward her threatens to spill out of my mouth, but I tamp it down. “Sweet Eden, you don’t have to thank us. Just promise me you’ll think about me when you’re rubbing one out back on Europa 3.” I wink to punctuate my words. There, that’s fun and casual Mezli. No one wants serious, besotted Mezli.

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