Page 70 of Science Project

What was I thinking?! I’d sounded so desperate.

And I totally was.

Last night, Akio had given me a taste of what normal could feel like. It wasn’t walking on eggshells. It wasn’t hiding my tears when I thought about Hannah. And it surely wasn’t living in fear of anyone who might like me.

My fingers tightened around my phone.

I wanted a normal life more than anything now.

I wanted to be happy.

I wanted to live …

Three things that I never thought I’d get or want. Dad stood in the way of all of them, and now … right now … I needed to find a way to get rid of him or maybe to run away. I wanted out of this situation.

Once I wrapped my fingers around Hannah’s pendant, I closed my eyes. “I’m going to get out of this for you,” I whispered, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. “I didn’t think that I had a chance, but I … I’m going to do this for us. Soon.”

My phone buzzed on my lap, and I snapped my eyes open, hoping that it was Akio.

Instead, Dad’s name flashed on the screen.

Dad: Where the fuck are you?

Stomach tightening into knots, I placed the phone back down onto my lap and decided to ignore him—at least for the next few moments because now was my time with Hannah. I didn’t get many moments with her anymore.

I closed my eyes again and rested my head against the headrest. “I miss you.”

And I swore I heard her say, I love you too.

I could see her smile and those pretty eyes that had always been clear of tears for me because she wanted to stay strong. I tightened my hand around her necklace.

“I’m going to make you proud,” I whispered.

Again, my phone buzzed on my lap.

Dad: Get back home now. We have a problem.

After sighing, I picked up my phone once more and scrolled to Akio’s contact.

Me: Sorry about earlier.

Me: I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward or uncomfortable. It just slipped out.

Me: Totally get if you don’t want to see me.

I typed my next message and hovered my finger over the send button.

Another message from Dad popped up, and I slammed my finger down on the screen to send one last message to Akio for the night, before I went home and had to listen to God knew what from Dad.

Me: But I meant every word.

Warmth spread through my chest at the thought of admitting it again to him.

Even if he hated me for it, even if he never wanted to talk to me again, it was the first step at being normal. Admitting my feelings to my crush … was such a rush of adrenaline, of terror and excitement.

Once I set my phone back into my purse, I started my car and headed back home. I pulled up the driveway with a smile on my face, feeling so fucking giddy. When Hannah had been alive, I hoped that she’d had a chance to experience this feeling …

Being in love with someone …

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