Page 62 of Science Project

“Maybe …”

“Why?”

I opened and closed my mouth a handful of times, not sure how to respond. If Akio said he liked it, then I would feel bad because I didn’t look like this in real life, and I didn’t want to keep going to her, even if—by some miracle—Dad released me from his grasp. But on the other hand … if Akio said he hated it, then I would be self-conscious of it for the rest of my short, pathetic life.

“Huh?” I asked, hoping that he’d forget it.

“Why’d you get fillers?” he asked again, smiling softly at me.

Waves crashed along the rocks a few rows down, the sound actually calming.

“I mean, I think they look really good, but I don’t think that you needed them.”

“I just wanted to,” I lied. Again.

I didn’t know how—in whatever fantasy world that I was living in—we’d ever work if all I did was lie to him.

We sat in silence for a few minutes while we ate and stared out at the ocean.

“So, is this, like …” He paused and readjusted his glasses. “Never mind.”

“Is it what?”

He shrugged and looked out at the waves. “You know …”

“What?” I asked because I surely didn’t.

“A date,” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Was this, like … a date?

My head didn’t know what to think, but my heart started beating like crazy.

I never thought that I’d ever have a normal life, and while eating McDonald’s at one in the morning at the Overlook with a guy I liked wasn’t the ideal first date, I couldn’t stop thinking that this was one step closer to normal. That, with Akio, I might get a glimpse at a simple life.

Even for a couple of hours a week. I’d be happy with that.

“And if it is?” I asked because I didn’t want to overstep. If Akio just wanted to be friends that hooked up sometimes, then I sure as hell didn’t want to ruin what we had. Because I would rather be friends than be nothing. “How’d you feel about that?”

With his cheeks tinting red, he shrugged again and looked away. But I caught a small smile on his face that he tried to hide from me. I popped another fry into my mouth and smiled softly, my lips still a bit tingly.

“I’ve never been on a date before,” he said after a few moments.

“Me neither.”

He snapped his head in my direction. “Y-you haven’t?”

“Not one that I actually wanted to be on.”

His smile seemed to stretch even more. “You want to be here with me?”

I gently knocked my shoulder into his. “If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have invited you.”

He fidgeted with his hand, moving it toward his face and then back, pulling his jacket zipper up and down a few times, as if he didn’t know what to do. I moved closer to him until our legs were nearly touching and waited for him to do something to show me that he also wanted to be here with me.

His gaze flickered down to my knee, and warmth spread through my body. Then, he lifted his hand, hovered it over my knee for a few moments, and placed it down. Although I was wearing sweatpants, his touch still drove me insane.

“Is this okay?” he asked nervously.

---