Page 44 of Science Project

“Party tonight.” He slung an arm around my waist. “But what about tomorrow?”

While I stiffened at the thought of anyone except Akio touching me, I forced myself to relax and sprawled my hand across his muscular abdomen. “Mmm, Jacey … why don’t we sneak into my car and get it over with?” I peeked over at Dad, who was now looming behind his police car. “I bet you’ve been aching to fuck me hard, get all that anger out, hurt me.”

That was all guys liked to do to me anyway. Except Akio.

Jace snatched my jaw in his hand, and I resisted the urge to flinch. “I said tomorrow.”

I forced a giggle. “I love when you get all dominant like that. If you want to wait until tomorrow”—I glanced down at my body and pressed my tits against his chest—“for this, then I’ll see you at my house at seven.” An urge to puke after saying those words bubbled up inside my throat, but I swallowed it down and headed toward my car. “Don’t be late, lover boy.”

Once I climbed inside the car, I shoved my key into the ignition with a shaky hand and sped off in a hyperventilating fit. I drove all the way around the school to the student drop-off section and parked on the side of the road, just staring at the group of people to calm myself.

Before Dad showed up and asked me what had happened.

Except …

When I looked across the field, Allie Hall—Jace’s stepsister—now stood across from Jace and stared at him with a mix of horror, despair, and sadness. I gripped the steering wheel and looked at her through wide, teary eyes because I recognized that pain on her face.

Helplessness.

Loneliness.

Heartbreak.

Jace stared back at her with wide brown eyes, like a deer in fucking headlights on one of Redwood’s back roads. They exchanged a few words, and then he stepped toward her, causing her to move backward and wrap her arms around her body.

Pain shot through my chest.

They loved each other, and I … and I … had caused this.

I caused every bad thing to happen in Redwood.

After another few words, she barreled toward him and shoved him back, tears streaming down her cheeks. Through my slightly rolled down window, I listened to her scream at him, the pain in her voice unbearable.

“What was that? What was it? Tell me! Are you fucking sleeping with her again?”

My hands tightened around the steering wheel, manicured nails digging into my palms. I bit back a cry and tried desperately to pull my gaze away from them, but I couldn’t do it. They loved each other—it had been obvious to me since sophomore year—and I had destroyed their relationship.

Twice.

Jace grabbed her wrists and said something quiet to her.

“No! I’m not going to drop it. This is my business, Jace. So, tell me. Fucking tell me!”

While I didn’t want her to cry because this was all my fault, her sobs muffled mine in the car. I placed a hand over my mouth, tears stinging my eyes. Why couldn’t I do anything right? Why did I have to hurt everyone?

“What do you want me to say?” Jace shouted. “That I’m sleeping with her? Is that what you want to hear, Allie? Do you want to hear all the fucking things I’m doing with her that I used to do with you? Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

But Jace was lying.

We hadn’t slept together. Ever.

We had gotten close—so close. Multiple times. But we had both stopped each other.

“Because I love you, Jace!” Allie shouted.

Pain flooded through every inch of me, my body in tingles. I cried out loud, not caring anymore, and shook my head. This was my fault. Allie’s pain. Jace’s pain. My fucking pain. I had caused it all when I was just trying to survive.

Jace’s features softened—in a way that was similar but different from when I used to say I love you to Hannah and she’d stare down at me in awe. Something about having someone to care and love you, no matter how terrible of a human being you thought you were, no matter how hard life became, it was nice.

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