Page 12 of Science Project

Akio’s face dropped, and he turned away from me and shoved himself back into his pants. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t think I would … I would come so quickly. I really didn’t want … I know that I don’t live up to Carter or Jace or?—”

Tears suddenly sprang from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. That was all? There wasn’t any yelling or calling me names or staring smugly at me like he had taken advantage of a young piece of meat?

“A-are you crying?” Akio asked. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I tried to be gentle …”

“Gentle,” I repeated in a whisper.

Usually, Dad’s friends threw me around, pulled my hair, smacked me anywhere they wanted. I’d expected Akio to do the same, but nobody had been so gentle and caring with me before, and it almost seemed fake.

Another sob escaped my throat, my shoulders pulling forward.

And I had taken advantage of him.

I’d fucking taken advantage of the nerdy kid, all for my father. For the bastard I hated.

“I’m sorry, Nicole,” he said, readjusting his glasses. “I …”

“I need to leave,” I whispered. I ran to the door. My throat was closing, my heart pounding, and my thoughts were racing so fast that I couldn’t even hear them. But all I knew was that I needed to get out of here. Now.

“Wait,” Akio said, grabbing my wrist as my back was still turned toward him. “I-I’m sorry if I—” Again, he paused for a long time. His grip on me loosened, and then he gently twisted my arm around. “D-did I do that to you?”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Akio staring wide-eyed at the bruises that Dad had given me the other morning. I usually covered them up with makeup, but I must’ve sweated it off during cheer practice.

“Nicole, I?—”

Before another word could come out of his mouth, before he could ask about where I had gotten them or if he had given them to me, I ripped my arm away from him, sprinted out of the bedroom door, and slammed it behind me.

What had I even been thinking, coming here and using Akio? I didn’t want to hurt him or drag him into whatever drama my father had planned. He didn’t even seem like his parents were part of the mob. He was so … so sweet.

Tears wavered in my eyes.

Too sweet that it couldn’t be real.

There was no way.

I hadn’t met anyone in Redwood that selfless. Nobody that really cared. Not about me.

“Nicole,” he said from the other side of the door. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Can I?—”

“No,” I shouted after biting back a sob. “I’m leaving, Akio.”

I didn’t want him to touch me, to make me feel better, because I didn’t deserve it. I deserved to be treated the way that Dad and his buddies treated me. I was mean and rude and deserved all the bad things that came my way.

And I sure as hell wasn’t worth all of Akio’s kindness.

So, I hurried off to my car, slipped into the driver’s seat, and drove to the Overlook—the rocky mound before the Atlantic Ocean. Waves crashed against the rocks. The salty breeze permeated through my car from the windows. And I barely turned the engine off before I burst out into uncontrollable sobs.

I didn’t know why I was crying. Akio had just been so gentle with me. And usually, I kept my emotions together. But I … but I … I didn’t know what to think. I had no problem using any of those stupid jocks at Redwood or Dad’s friends for information.

Akio though …

It was so cruel.

A car pulled ahead of me in the dark and parked. I stared at it through stinging eyes, my vision blurred from the tears, and then I watched a couple of students from Redwood leap out of the car and stare out at the ocean, his arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind, his head tilted and his cheek on the top of her head.

My lips quivered, and my chest tightened at the sight of something that I would never have.

Young love. Maybe not even love at all if my father thought I wasn’t worth it anymore. If he decided to bring me here one day—not to use me, but to dump me off like a whore that nobody cared about. Like Hannah.

---