Page 56 of To Have and to Hold

“My fun,” I admitted, salacious and wicked. “Needed a nice, warm fuck. She did the job. Charlie told me how good she was. I can see why Rafe wants her back so badly.” I laughed, my face flat while I tried to sell my demented words. Though was it more demented than the reality? That I was fucking in love with my sister? I had to take what was his. Had to.

Connor sighed, our eyes catching. He shook his head and walked off with his head down, leaving me alone in thekitchenette while he sloped off to the bathroom to wash away his sins, or just hide from mine.

It took a few seconds, but then Father laughed, and my chest loosened a fraction. I’d told him that me, his son, had fucked his daughter, and he was laughing. “Don’t tell Rafe that, if she’s knocked up now, he’ll kick her in the stomach some more to make sure it doesn’t catch. Just in case.”

“Oh, fuck no. I keep my messes clean.” I winced again, hating that speaking in such a disgusting way came with such ease. Shit, I really was my father’s son, could feel his genetics coursing through my veins at how depraved I could go.

“Good. Now, get her back here as soon as you fucking can, I’ll hold Rafe off until then. But time is running the fuck out.” He muttered something to someone far enough away from the phone that I couldn’t hear their response. Then he was back. “Theo, there will be consequences for you here. For both of you. Hers will be in his hands, but you? I’ll have to do something. You can’t just take what you want from that man.”

“Am I not more important than him? You’re only male heir?”

He sighed. “I can always make more.”

“Time is running out, old man.”

He chuckled. “There’s always time.”

Rubbing my hand over my face, I shut myself off even more, needing to disappear, desperate to crawl back into that bed and lose myself in her warm skin. Just fucking cocoon in there and never leave. But instead, I told him, “She’ll be reunited with Rafe before you know it.”

I hung up the phone and dropped my head in my hands, leaning on the countertop to let all the darkness wash over me. As I did, taking deep, steadying breaths, I heard Connor leave the hall and stride to the door. His footsteps were heavy, rushed. He didn’t take his phone from me, and I flinched when the heavy front door slammed behind him.

“Going to fucking wake up Violet if he’s not careful,” I muttered to myself, steeling myself to stand, to tell him what I’d done and wake Violet up, anyway. She had to know. I had to leave, at least for a little while. Yeah, I needed to go and wake her up. Couldn’t let this fester.

But when I did.

When I stood and turned, letting my spine click and my shoulders drop. Connor was in the hallway, scowling, his eyes dark. With a bleeding lip, a red cheek, and a frown.

“She fucking heard you, you prick,” he growled.

Chapter 31

Violet

Mybrainwentintoa lockdown, not letting the words I heard enter my head. It was a fight or flight, a reaction that, without thinking, made me jolt and move. I didn’t shatter or shout, struggle or cry. I just left.

Uncle Connor tried to stop me, bewildered when he saw me shoving my feet into some shoes. But I barged past him and stole his wallet on the way out. He let me go, unwilling to touch me, to restrain me. His frown was down-turned, his eyes resigned as he stepped out of my path. It was all instinctive, my mind functioning on two levels. Get out and don’t be stupid.

Connor had thousands of dollars in his wallet. I dumped out his ID on the street and jumped in the first free taxi, asking the driver to take me to the nearest train station. I just went with my gut. Let my legs take me away before my brain could process the words, the intent. His words… they’d shocked me so deeply I’dneeded to get as far away from them as possible. Like a visceral pain.

It was only when I reached the train station, paid the driver and climbed out of the cab, that I realized how absolutely thick headed I’d been. I turned to ask the cab driver to take me back, but he’d already sped off, his yellow car blending into the sea of vehicles in this busy part of the city. I think I’d given him too much of Connor’s money, too, in my panic. Maybe that’s why he zipped away before the door had even slammed shut.

So I stood there, like a bloody lemon, in the middle of a packed city street in Theo’s clothes and Connor’s shoes, feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet. It dawned on me how mistaken I’d been. How stupid I’d been to not just stand there, process the situation for a single damn second. I knew Theo, trusted what he told me. He wasn’t lying when he whispered about his love for me, when he made me feel like I could take on the world with the way he touched me. No. I’d let fear and uncertainty take me for a moment, but I’d been wrong.

I’d messed up. Badly.

I’d missed something, somewhere. I had to have. Still, the sound of those words coming from his mouth made me shiver. I glanced around, apologizing when someone bumped into me, and walked into the station. At least there might be somewhere to sit inside. I had no phone. Couldn’t remember the address of Connor’s apartment. I had money, sure, but that didn’t get me far when I was so damn clueless.

And the rush of people running for their trains or pouring from the carriages with big, rolling bags had my hackles raised. Too many strangers, faces I didn’t know or was scared to know. Voices shouting, rumbling, a loud yelling of noise and people that had my brain warped. I wasn’t used to it. My life had been a quiet one, no crowds, only stiff, reserved gatherings and dinnerparties. This was… this was unbearable. I was wrong to have craved it.

Panic heated me as I joined the queue for a train ticket, choosing the soonest out of the city. I just needed out. Out. It was too loud. Too much. I jammed the buttons and fed the machine the notes until I had my ticket.

Twenty minutes. Only twenty minutes.

I got funny looks when I stumbled towards the gate, but my legs wouldn’t work right, my feet clumsy in the too-big shoes. Flashes of Theo’s words mixed with the amazing way he felt on top of me, inside me. It was incompatible. It just was. The love he showed in his eyes didn’t match those words he’d spat down the phone.

If only I’d looked at his face, lingered beyond that split second panic. If only…

With my head in my hands, I waited, hoping that Theo would get here before the train, before anyone else. I felt safer on the platform, with fewer people, fewer entrances for anyone with bad intentions to come through. There were just two lines of people, some going left, some going right. Some on the opposite platform, but less chaos. Theo would reach me first.

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