Page 55 of To Have and to Hold

"I… I don't know what to say about being your big brother, but—"

She hushed me, her finger on my lip. "We can figure it out later." She paused. "Please."

I kissed her in agreement, soaking in her warm smell, the faint hint of soap and just… her.

We nuzzled each other for a second longer, basking in the perfect moment. But Connor made a pointed noise in the other room, and I sighed, kissing her nose before marching into theliving room to grab my bag, butt ass naked because all my good clothes were in there.

Connor frowned at my nakedness and muttered under his breath, watching me from the kitchen as I shoved my legs into the spare joggers and wrestled a t-shirt over my head. I knew I should feel ashamed, scared at being caught, for the second time, with my sister, but if he threatened her at all,usat all, I would just scoop her up and disappear, his plan, our hard work, be fucking damned.

Connor tutted and turned, disappearing into the kitchen, I followed him in with tension rolling through my body to find him starting the coffee maker.

“I don’t want to know,” he said without looking at me, pouring the ground coffee into the machine. “Don’t tell me anything more about it. Please.”

I kept my mouth shut. And when Connor turned back around, two mugs of coffee in his hands, his expression had shifted. Gone was the uncle who’d just caught his niece and nephew in bed together, and in its place was the leader, the man who quietly controlled a territory and fought against his power hungry brother. Whatever darkness I’d noticed brewing under his surface when he looked at us, was well-buried.

We stared at each other for a few moments, then I broke the tension.

“What’s the plan, then?” I asked, wincing after a sip of the bitter coffee. It was stale, probably sat in that cupboard for months. I hated needing his help, that he had a hold over me in multiple ways. But it was the only way to keep her safe.

“We need to kill Rafael,” Connor said. “Without ruining everything.”

“What?” I questioned, shocked. “But that’s never been the plan, Connor. We could have done that years ago.” Anger builtin me, but I suppressed it with another swallow of bitter coffee. Needed some fucking sugar.

“Yeah, well, fuck that and fuck them,” he responded. “I don’t give a flying shit about the plan anymore. We need to save the girls.” He paused. “Allof them.” His voice wavered there, betraying the emotion he was trying to suppress.

My jaw ticked, and I needed a fucking cigarette. What the fuck? After all he'd put on me, all that pressure to keep Violet suffering, to sit with my thumb up my ass and wait while I begged for it to end? I left him there, stewing in his feelings, while I went back to the bag to grab the pack of smokes. Lighting one up as I returned to him, feeling calmer. I offered him the packet, and he shook his head. The nicotine soothed my racing brain.

That sounded impossible. Everything was so tenuous between the families, the connection was supposed to be bridged with Violet and Rafe. She was the sacrifice.

“Since Violet escaped, everything’s gone to shit even more. Rafe is on a rampage, demanding all sorts of shit from your dad, including the remainder of his daughters, if Violet isn’t returned to him. He wants heirs, he doesn’t care how he gets them. The more bodies, the better the chance… he’s so fucking angry, Theo.” Emotion thickened his tone. “We can’t let him get the rest of them.”

I took a few deep breaths, contemplating our options. Of course, I didn’t want my other sisters to be taken by him, they were both still under eighteen for one, and for another, he was a torturing prick who deserved every inch of a horrifying death, not more young girls to ruin.

"But it was fine when it was just Violet?" I asked, needing to hear him say it. That sacrificing one was fine, but not three?

He nodded, didn't even have the decency to wince. Something had changed for him. Something big.

Violet was never going back to her husband. I would raise hell of earth before I let that happen. But I didn’t want him to hurt anyone else, either. No. We needed to kill him. Not just me. Not just Connor. Violet needed to do it.

Sucking my cigarette down to the filter, I contemplated all the options.

“I have a plan,” I said, settling on what had to be done. “I know what we have to do.”

Smilingather,Ichecked on Violet, finding her still fast asleep. I watched her for a second longer before closing the door to the bedroom and walking back out to Connor. He looked as resigned as me, but she was the best way we could get close to him. She’d never have to leave this apartment, the safety of the dozens of Connor’s men on their way to protect the building. He had even more power than he'd let on, an entire team of mercenary fuckers to do what he wanted. And he'd used me. His niece. Put us through hell. Hatred for Connor bubbled, but now wasn't the time.

I considered the plan again, but decided to just go with it. It wouldn’t even matter if we didn’t have her. It could all be a lie. But I knew they’d believe me.

“I’ve got her,” I told my dad, speaking into Connor’s phone. No pleasantries, no hellos. “I’m taking her back.”

Dad let loose a long sigh, disappointment and relief mixed together. “How long have you had her, Theodore?” he asked me, his voice measured, though I recognized the danger in his tone. “I’m at Rafe’s compound and he’s gone off his fucking rocker.Both your mother and your sister are here on his demand. Connor won’t give us Amaryllis, or she would be here too, pleasing him.”

“You didn’t have to obey that request,” I spat back. “They’re your family. You weren’t required to give them to a monster.”

“I am,” he told me just as fast. “You don’t understand the intricacies of what we’re doing here, Theodore, but you will. With time, you will take your brother’s place in its entirety and learn all the family secrets. I’ve been taking it easy on you, but this insubordination? This is the end of the road for any fucking freedom. The lives of the women is… less important… than Rafael and his family. We need him more than you know.”

I scoffed, only partially acting. “Well, I have her. So tell me where I should take her. The game is up, father. I’ve had my fun. I’m ready to bring her back.”

“Your fun?” Father asked, each word careful, picking his tone to be measured and stony. Like Connor, he seemed to sense something was there from my tone, from the way I dragged my words out, teasing. It made me feel sick, using her like this, but she’d let me. I knew she would. It was fucking fake. Connor had talked me into telling dad about us, or alluding to it at least. It would, horrifyingly, loosen him up to me. She’s just meat, a hole to use. I’d be willing to give her up now I was done, she was only a woman, after all.

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