Page 32 of To Have and to Hold

Rafe laughed and pulled his cock out. There was no way he was ready to go again. I knew his patterns now. He’d need longer. He would usually beat me for hours before being set for anotherdeposit. But that’s not what he did.

That’s not what either of them did.

Hot, pungent urine streamed over me and both men laughed when I cried out and curled up. There was no point in running, trying to escape. They had me. It hurt, stinging where it landed on my wounds. Charlie’s laugh was so cold, so empty of anything. He either cared so little this was nothing to him, or he was a void inside, a vessel for Father, for Rafe, to use as they pleased. I added him to my list, to the growing list of men to hate, to imagine brutal deaths for when my brain had nowhereelse to go. What kind of church thought this was okay? That this got them anything good?

“Fucking yes,” Rafe said, laughter booming. “This is beautiful. She’s nothing to you. Truly nothing to you.” His laugh was open and free, coming right from his belly.

“Fuck all,” Charlie agreed, stepping closer to nudge me with his foot, so I rolled onto my back a little more. He shook his cock over my face so some of his urine landed across my cheeks, my lips, and our eyes connected. "She is yours. The church's. Pathetic."

There was nothing in there for me. No love, only disgust. He hated me. I was right where I was supposed to be, in his opinion. I saw it in my father, too. All those times I’d begged him to not make me go, until I realized there was no point. What hope did I have?

They left me there, leaving the room as they talked of the party Rafe was throwing in his pool house in a few hours. All naked women and a handful of men, ready to please, ready to do the bidding of anyone who attended in the hopes of being welcomed into the fold in a better position than me. Charlie’s enthusiasm, despite the fiancé I knew he had, was no surprise.

I blinked. Tried not to let myself fall into that pit of nothingness threatening to overwhelm me.

Theo Theo Theo. I needed Theo.

Oblivion.

Chapter 18

Theo

TimedraggedbywhileI waited for access to the fucking CCTV footage of Rafael’s compound so I could see her again. It was my only option, since I'd insisted on seeing Violet, banging on the door and not letting up until I got my way, Rafe had been a lot less accommodating. After a delay, he let me in, but only for a few minutes. A few, tiny, short, miniscule minutes that set fire to my resolve to get her free. She was more protected now, at least. But I was further away from her than ever.

Charlie began sneaking out again, evading my questions about where he was going. I followed him when I could, but he must have known because he always just drove into town. I needed another way in. When I pressured him, pinned him down or held a gun to his head, he would speak. He told me he saw her, that she was quiet, but okay. That’s it. And if I pushed, he shut down, so I had no choice but to believe him. Until Christian worked his magic.

My friend from college, Christian, was working on the cameras for me, and he’d told me again and a-bloody-gain that it would take a long ass time to work his way in. He didn’t ask why I needed him to do it. We had a no questions asked policy between us, both in a similar position with our families. We kept in touch, under the radar, just in case. Had each other’s backs whenever.

“I should be getting in…” Christian said, voice tired, addressing me after hours of muttering to himself while I listened with bated breath, tense from my asshole to my toes. I had a laptop set up with three screens on the desk in my bedroom, my stomach churning with anticipation as I waited for them to flicker to life. Shit, I just needed to see her. To confirm she was alive.

“…now,” Christian finished his drawn out sentence and my empty screens blinkered to life.

I gasped. There she was. Lying on her bed, curled up, picking at her fingernails and staring into the middle distance. The quality was shit, but I didn’t care. There she was. I knew Rafe’s overzealousness would come in favor at some point. He was good, his security solid, but Christian was better. And the cameras he had in every corner of his house were mine now too.

“Shit,” Christian muttered. “Your sister?” he asked. He was seeing it too, clearly. I heard his mouse clicking like he was scrolling through all the cameras, too, checking them all over, I guessed. With a sigh, I did the same. I didn’t want to move away from her, but I needed to make sure it all worked.

I found Rafe at the dining table, a couple of his men sat with him as they discussed something. We had no sound, but it didn’t appear worth my time. I jumped from camera to camera, a hallway here, the kitchen, the foyer, until I was back at Violet. She hadn’t moved.

“Yeah,” I responded to Christian, wanting to hang up and just… stare. Will her to turn to the lens and know I was on the other side of it, sending her every good vibe possible.

“She looks okay, buddy,” Christian said, his words careful. I heard the fatigue in his voice. He’d been working around the clock for me, and this particular session had begun in the early hours of the morning when he had a brainwave. “I hope she is.”

“Me too,” I muttered, losing myself in the sight of her again. Then I gave my head a wobble and focused on my friend. “Go to bed, Christian. And thank you again. You know where I am.”

“That I do. And any time. Don’t think I won’t hesitate to come to you for help.”

He hung up, and I was sure was already fast asleep before I’d even put my phone down. I took a deep breath and watched her, just soaked in the fact that I could see she was fine. She was fine.

Three months without seeing her, touching her, knowing she was surviving. The only confirmation I had that she remained alive came from my untrustworthy brother and a monthly update that she still wasn’t pregnant. It was delivered like farming news, an emotionless bulletin to whoever cared listen.

One of Rafe’s bootlickers spoke to one of ours about how Rafe would torture her each time she didn’t get pregnant. Every month that she bled, he grew more and more unhinged, hurting her, punishing her. Showcasing that his seed hadn’t taken. While Violet looked okay on the screen now, I knew she wasn’t really. She hid it well, even when she was alone. So bloody strong it made my heart ache.

Dread and satisfaction warred in my gut when I’d realized what I’d done in slipping her birth control. Horror. Though I knew she would prefer this, I hoped she did. But was it worth it? Truly worth it? We could still get her out, get her to safety — if she had Rafe’s heir growing in her belly, he would stop at nothing to keep her, to find her. Hiding her wouldn’t slow himdown. I had to believe my actions had been right. The injection would run out soon, and I would either have to find another way to get close, or get her out of there.

Charlie knocked on my bedroom door and strolled in, not bothering to wait for my response. He muttered about a job he had for me without looking up from his phone, and I froze, waiting for him to realize what I’d done. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it, but fuck, I didn’t know if he’dtell on me, like a good little son.

“What the hell have you done?” he asked, stopping mid-sentence about a man he needed roughing up. Scowling, I turned to face him, finding his mouth open in a comical O shape. His expression shifted from surprise to anger fast, morphing like a beast until it was all he was. No sympathy for Violet. Only irritation that I’d defied him.

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