Page 30 of To Have and to Hold

Theo. Theo touching me, kissing me, following up each of their strikes with a loving stroke. That’s where I was. Where I desperately wanted to be.

“Get her off the hook. I want to fuck her like the dog she is,” Les said, and Jack listened, lifting my body so I slipped free of the butcher’s hook. Blood rushed to my arms in a vicious flood, stinging and burning and aching as my empty limbs reanimated. I was floppy in Jack’s grasp as he pushed me to the floor, my knees slamming into the concrete with a crunch I would investigate later.

Jack lifted my head, forcing me to look up as Les unbuttoned his belt and ripped his pants down. Rafe’s breathing was picking up, just behind him, the man’s head bouncing up and down at rapid speed. For once, I saw tenderness in Rafe as he stroked the man’s blond hair, not pressuring or pushing. Rage flashed over me before Les overtook my vision, his disgusting pale dick bobbing half hard in front of my face.

It was small, too. Like a diseased carrot, all knobbled and malformed.

“No need to take it easy, boys,” Rafe commanded from his perch, his voice thick with lust. “I want to see her bleed when I come.” He paused and groaned. “I still have to feed it into her pussy.”

“Suck me down, you little dog,” Les said, waving his floppy dick in my face while Jack held me up, attempting to pry my mouth apart. I bit at his fingers as he shoved them between my lips, trying to gnaw them away like a wild animal. No. I wasn’t doing this, wasn’t getting that thing in my mouth.

I shook my head, squirmed and fought until Jack’s boot landed on my spine and I slammed face first to the ground. They twisted me to my back and then Les jumped onto my chest, straddling me with his cock on my chin. He laughed, smacked it across my cheeks.

The men all chuckled, and Jack sat on my hands, crushing my wrists under his immense weight. I tried to buck them off, lost.This was too present. I couldn’t hide away like this, so I fought with screams and flails and shakes of my head.

Then Les punched me in the mouth so hard I cried out in pain, and in the next moment, his warm, fleshy cock was between my lips. It tasted bitter, unclean, and, with no thought in my head, no conscious decision, I bit down.

I smashed my teeth together and screamed deep in my throat as the top and bottom of my jaw met. I bit down hard. Hard. Through fleshy skin and blood bursting, warmth gushing between my teeth as the appendage disconnected from the body and flopped into my mouth, already shriveling. Vomit boiled in my throat as chaos erupted all around me.

Les fell back with a crash, screaming like I’d never heard someone scream before, a deep, desperate and panicked sound that bashed around in my brain as I registered what I’d done. Les’s dismembered penis dropped from my mouth with a flood of blood and drool, thwacking to the floor beside my head. I scrambled up, spitting and spluttering and swallowing down bile and fluid as it threatened to spill out from my gut. Oh my god.

Oh mygod.

Jack was screaming something at Les, who was panicked and fraught, pointing manically, tearing at his hair and grabbing at his dickless crotch in the mayhem of it all. I don’t think anyone had comprehended what had happened yet. Rafe held his lover’s head down, choking him, staring at the scene ahead like it was distant from him, flickering on a screen and not right in front of him. I watched the man squirm, fight for oxygen, as Rafe’s eyes moved to mine. On fire.

He laughed when I stood and stepped towards the exit, blood pouring down my chin and dripping onto my abdomen.

“Jack, get her in position,” he shouted, demanded, his voice tense, on edge. Jack didn’t reply right away, didn’t react. Ireached the door and tried the handle, but it refused to budge. “Jack!”

Jack jumped and turned, his attention flitting from me to Rafe to Les, who was wailing, cupping his crotch and growing whiter with each breath he sucked in. His trousers were too dark to see the spreading patch of blood, but I knew it was there. My chest was coated in the stuff.

“You fucking bitch!” Les screamed at me when our eyes met. “I’m going to rip you to pieces, tear your womb from your body and shove it down your fat fucking throat—!”

“Stop!” Rafe bellowed, his gun whipped out, directed right at Les’s head. He kept the weapon pointed at Les as he turned to Jack, allowing the man sucking his cock to move again, to pull in air. Even when I knew he must have been close to unconsciousness, he didn’t complain, only carried on his work. “Get her into position. You can have your fun with her after.” He paused. “But I would recommend a gag. Or a different hole.”

Les continued to wail as Jack wrestled me into position, my face pressed to the floor and my ass in the air pointed at Rafe. I fought with every single big of energy I had, all of it from deep within, screaming, fighting, biting and kicking, bucking my legs and slamming my head back to connect with his. But he was stronger. Well fed and muscled. I heard movement as Jack held me down, a sucking breath and a shuffle of fabric as Rafe came closer. He grunted, came in his hand, I think, and fed it deep inside me.

“I’m not going to kill him,” Rafe said, leaning over to whisper in my ear. “Even though he threatened your womb.” He cupped my belly, curling over my entire body like he owned it. I whimpered, fear heating me up to the depths of hell. “I like the idea of someone walking around that might scare you almost as much as me. What do you think his emotional state will be the next time he brings you food? Do you believe it will remainuntampered?” He paused again. “If he survives into his dickless life, who do you think he’s going to want to ruin the most?”

I whimpered again, but I wasn’t scared of Les. I was terrified of Rafe. But Les? He was pathetic. And his flesh tasted like shit. I still had some stuck in my teeth.

Chapter 17

Violet

ThesubmissivemandraggedLes from the room with Rafe on his heels, whistling as he walked, completely uncaring that one of his closest allies was bleeding out from a ragged hole in his crotch. Rafe didn’t even punish me for it, not really. It was almost funny to him, especially when he told me how much I would be punished for it. But not yet.

Rafe demanded that Jack stay and watch me, make sure I remained in position so his seed could flood my fucking cervix. It made me feel sick, the taste of Les’s flesh still coating my tongue, my teeth, but I did as I was told. I remained where I was. I wasn’t strong enough for anything else yet. My mind was a mess. Twisted. Because I liked it. Just a little bit. I took pleasure in hurting him. The viciousness, the depravity of it. I’d hurt a man that had hurt me. Stopped him from ever being able to harm a woman how he wanted to again.

I liked it.

“You ever wonder why you can’t get pregnant?” Jack mused, his voice breaking through my spiral, his foot pressed into my back as he idly jacked off. I heard the squelching of it, the occasional grunt. I just squeezed my eyes shut and ignored him. Biting Les’s cock off gave me some power. A niggle of it. I had some, somewhere. Jack’s words wouldn’t affect me anymore. I wouldn't let them. “Maybe you’re broken, fucking barren. I always said they should have you tested first, save this trouble.” He chuckled, then groaned.

“Things will only get worse, you know. We’ve had his cast offs before, and they don’t last long. Some of their remains still litter the compound grounds. Once Rafe is done with you, you have no use. Either make a baby, or you become ours. He has no problem cycling through his wives to get what he wants."

I dug my nails into the concrete to focus on the pain, to ignore him as the sole of his shoe ground into my spine, making the bones squeak and crack. I had to fight against the pressure to keep my hips up. But I understood if Rafe came back in and I wasn’t how he left me, it would be so much worse. I could suffer this, Jack’s awful words, his weight on my back. It was nothing. Not when I knew what I would do to him if I had the chance. Not when I could let my mind wonder to the sight of Jack’s blood splattered across the back of my hands, or the way he wouldgruntwhen it was his dick being bitten off.

“Say something,” Jack demanded. “Make a noise.” He stamped his foot down, and I yelped, scrambling to keep position. His moaning picked up, and then a wet liquid splashed over my back, into my hair. I winced, hating the sound of the tormentor as he orgasmed from my suffering. This was all this was, this organization. As far as I could see, it had nothing to do with religion or duty, it was all a front for being able to freely abuse women, to bring us down to our knees then shove us evenfurther into hell. I'd seen no sign of religion, of piety – just filthy men taking from me.

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